how solve problems in life

Life Potential

13 common life problems and how to handle them.

In life, we encounter problems as we breathe. But it doesn’t get to us until we feel a major impact, and that’s when it becomes a source of concern, hurt, or sorrow.

Life problems, depending on their magnitude, can be clogs in the wheel of progress, and we may not be able to attain our full potential if we don’t learn to place our problems in the proper perspectives as suggested in Robert Schuller’s Tough Times Never Last .

In this article, I have identified some common areas where you will most likely face daily life problems as you make progress towards reaching your full life potential. I have also suggested practical approaches in handling, managing, and solving such problems.

But before we dive into the most common problems in life, you may want to first identify your greatest challenge in life at the moment — what aspects of life should you focus on improving first?

To do that, you can take the Life Assessment . It’s a free assessment that will give you an overview of all your life aspects, and help you understand your current obstacles better. Just take the assessment now and then go into my solutions below.

Discover How to Overcome Real Life Problems

When you’re facing life problems, it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one going through adversity. However, you are not alone. Here’s a list of problems in life that people face.

1. Financial Crisis

Difficulties in life are normal. We live in an uncertain world and a financial crisis may come at different stages of life. While you should always anticipate and prepare for a financial crisis , it may still catch you off guard or the magnitude may be far more than any preparation you have made over the years.

It could be that you lost your job or a major investment, got slammed with a lawsuit that threatens your savings, or have your livelihood be affected by a major disaster. So what do you do when you are in a financial mess?

To overcome a financial crisis , you will have to come to terms with the crisis. Acknowledge and accept the situation and begin recovery by setting your financial priorities right.

When dealing with real world problems examples, the next thing to do is to identify the cause of the crisis. If it’s due to a job loss, then your effort should be directed at getting a new job. If it is having multiple debts, look for ways to consolidate your debt so that your monthly debt repayment can be consolidated into one instead of being burdened with multiple payments.

You can also sell some of your assets to raise money to save the situation, or look for a better job if you are earning less at your current job. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from family and friends if you need to.

2. Health Crisis

Another major problem that might come up in your life is a health crisis. This is not far-fetched because our body systems work round-the-clock, even when we are sleeping. As a result of this, and if you don’t maintain routine health habits , health deterioration might begin to set in. Things might even get serious if you don’t attend to it early.

Just like other human problems in daily life, the first thing to do is to consider lifestyle changes. This includes cutting down on junks, eating healthy diets, exercising, breathing fresh air, taking some sun, etc.

Apart from lifestyle changes, you have to seek quality medical help and make sure you get different opinions about the state of your health so you can get the best affordable care.

3. Relationship, Marriage, and Family

There may not be anything as sweet as love and family life, but it can also be the source of pain for some. Human imperfections in a relationship can cause a major crisis in life. This has been a stumbling block to many on their path to fulfillment.

The best thing to do is to prevent relationship problems from happening, but if they do happen, you need to face reality and begin to take steps towards addressing them. This is one of the most common life problems so simply do your best to keep the lines of communication open as this can help in strengthening your struggling relationship . Talk about the challenges with your partner and look for common grounds.

You can also arrange to see a counselor together or read books that address the specific challenges you are facing. The worst thing you can do is to end a relationship and that’s only when you have exhausted all other options.

4. Workplace

The workplace is supposed to be a place where we dutifully render the services for which we’ve been hired.

However, it is not impossible to face animosity at work—dealing with toxic people who would rather not see any good in what you do. It might be caused by differences in background, attitudes, and unhealthy competition that can result in personal conflicts . This can create undue stress and reduce productivity.

When facing the most common problems in life like this, be as professional as possible when dealing with toxic people. Be kind and show understanding, and try to avoid personal confrontation.

You can even try to reach out to the persons and invite them over for a coffee and get to understand their worldview. This can help you to connect with them at their level so that you can avoid unnecessary stress for yourself.

5. Career Pressure

In your quest to become more successful, you will likely encounter work-related pressure. Such can come when trying to stabilize your career or climb the career ladder. It can also come as a result of overworking and having no life . Career pressure is one of the most common life problems.

Sometimes, it may be that the promotion you are working hard to get is not coming or positions you are qualified for are being offered to others. The pressure can get more intense when you find that most of your colleagues are moving ahead of you.

Check to find if you have personal or attitudinal problems. Some attitudinal problems can put you at a disadvantaged end. It may be poor communication, poor personal grooming, or poor relationship and networking skills. If it is any of these problems, then work on improving yourself in those areas.

You can also observe your colleagues who are succeeding and take note of what they are doing differently.

6. Unfair Treatment

We are in a world where some people often think they have some privileges over others and may want to exercise this thinking and treat others unfairly. If you find yourself in an environment where you are being oppressed or treated badly because of your race, gender, or current status, this can make you feel really bad and can also affect your psyche and productivity.

There is the temptation to decry your treatment, defend yourself, and demand a change immediately, but you should really wait for the right opportunity to do that.

When the time is right, reach out directly to the person or authority involved, and make it private. Meanwhile, you should be factual about the instances of your unfair treatments. Don’t just say that you are being treated badly; give several undeniable instances.

Once you’ve made your grievances known politely, keep being you. If things don’t change, you can cocoon yourself in that environment. If you have an option to leave, you can do so as well.

7. Emptiness and Boredom

When you are in a rut, everything becomes normal, dull, unproductive, and yet difficult to change. This can lead to feelings of emptiness and boredom. This may not seem like a serious life problem, but it can have a great impact on your life.

To overcome boredom and emptiness, break out of your routines, and deliberately create a new experience for yourself. If you can’t leave your job to find a new one, start doing other things that reflect your true passion. Sometimes, the things that give us the needed drive in life are not our day jobs.

8. Confusion

Confusion is described as a change in mental status in which a person is not able to think with their usual level of clarity. [1] . It is inherent in forgetfulness and lack of concentration.

This is one of the most pressing real life problems today. It can be caused by different things including medical and environmental factors. It can also be due to the experience of a loss, a heartbreak, or abuse.

Don’t allow the situation to deteriorate into something more serious. Try to snap out of whatever experiences you have had that are causing confusion. Seek medical help if necessary or talk to a psychologist.

9. Friendship Problems

We need friends in our lives to rob minds and hang out together and even help us when we run into trouble. But many people have found themselves in serious trouble as a result of the company of friends they keep. They’ve experienced jealousy, backstabbing, and betrayal of trust. Some friends have even used the information freely provided in times of friendship to betray trust.

Don’t open up on everything to friends. Keep some information only to yourself. If you notice that a friend is working against you, confront them with the truth. Limit your interaction with them or get rid of such toxic friends completely.

10. Haunting Past

We all have pasts, and we might have done some crazy stuff in the past before we began to live a more civilized and decent life. But sometimes, the past comes back haunting. It’s even worse when life problems of the past haunt you back and become problems of the present.

It may be that what you have done is now striking your conscience, keeping you awake at night. Or someone who knows about it is trying to use it against you, and it is standing in the way of your progress.

Be true to yourself and forgive yourself. If it is an issue with another person, you can reach out to the person to settle with them. If it is a secret that is now being leaked out, own up to it, take responsibility, and move on.

11. Safety and Security

You may find yourself in an environment where there have been unexplained murder, gun violence, police brutality, insurgencies, and other life-threatening situations. This can make you feel like you might be the next victim. What should you do in this situation?

Ensure that you watch where you go and keep your home secure. You can also get involved in a neighborhood community watch to collectively find solutions to the threat. If the situation persists, you can move to a more secure location.

12. Failure

Failure is one of the most common real life problems. It can bring disappointment and can also slow the pace of progress. But failure is also part of life, and we have to learn to deal with it. But what do you do when an experience of failure weighs you down?

You can read a book or biography to get inspired by other people’s success stories.

No one loves to grief but we can’t totally shield ourselves from it. The loss of a loved one is painful and, if not properly handled , can lead to an emotional breakdown.

Take your time to express emotions. You can also pen an emotional tribute to the individual. Writing can help us bring out the feelings that cannot be expressed otherwise, and it helps us breathe a sigh of relief.

You can also cope with your grief by helping them to realize some of their unfulfilled dreams or do something in their honor. Lastly, while you think about your loss, you will still have to move on, accepting the fact that life is transient.

The Bottom Line

Problems are what make life worth living. They help us adapt to become tougher as we adapt to different situations. Always remember that whatever life problems you are facing have solutions or, at least, a manageable approach.

Therefore, never allow real life problems to stop you from fulfilling your true potential in life.

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How to Deal With Problems

Last Updated: June 24, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS . Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. There are 20 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 187,204 times.

Every person has problems: even the wealthiest individual on the globe has challenges in life. There are times when problems feel overwhelming and like you might not be able to get past them. But by taking responsibility for your problems and setting a path to correct them in a constructive way, you can deal with any problems that come your way.

Setting a Path to Correct Problems

• Take a few deep breaths and repeat to yourself “let” when you inhale and “go” when you exhale. This can help control your heart rate and allow you to relax. [2] X Trustworthy Source FamilyDoctor.org Family-focused medical advice site run by the American Academy of Family Doctors Go to source
• Repeat to yourself “I can get through this. It’s challenging, but I can find a solution.”

• Write down or list the problems and their causes. This can help you more readily visualize, accept, and even deal with a problem.
• For example, if you missed a mortgage payment, accept that you bear some, if not all, responsibility for this. Likewise, if you have bad grades, acknowledge the role that you played in getting those bad grades.

• External factors . If someone hits your car while it is parked in a parking lot, then this would be an example of a problem caused by external factors. You did not cause the accident and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.
• Internal factors . If you arrive late to work because you hit the snooze button on your alarm too many times, then this would be an example of an internal factor. In this situation, it would be important to acknowledge your role in arriving late to work so that you can avoid making the same mistake in the future.
• Mixture . If your group gets a poor grade on a group presentation, then chances are that there are things that all of you could have done better, not just one person. Try to identify your role in the situation and take responsibility for it.

• Remember to take a deep breath before you start reacting.
• Evaluate or assess the situation and any information about it as quickly as you can. For example, if your toilet overflows, you can check the tank or the bowl to see what the issue is. Likewise, if someone is yelling at you and it appears they might get aggressive, you can quickly figure out that it’s best to remove yourself from the situation.
• Give yourself as much time as you think you have to break down the problem and react with a solution. For example, if you realize your insurance has expired and you didn’t get a renewal notice, call your insurance company and ask about the options to get coverage as soon as possible.
• Think about different solutions to the problem and then decide which is the most appropriate. For example, if your toilet overflowed, you can either call a plumber immediately or try and stop the water from running. However, you might also want to try and stop the water by closing the valve on the tank and then calling your plumber or plunging the toilet.
• Consider other perspectives if the problem involves another person or other people.

• List anything that causes you problems. For example, “paying bills on time” or “excelling at work/ school.”
• Figure out what you have the power to change, which can help you start dealing with the problem.

• Use the SMART method to set goals towards solving your problems. SMART means: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely. For example, maybe you want to handle your delinquent mortgage. Your goal might be “I want to settle my mortgage issue with the bank within the next two months. I’ll contact my lender and speak about the issues surrounding my delinquency and ask about what options are available to mean to get my account back in good standing.”
• Write down your problem and projected goal of solving it on paper. Visual cues can reinforce your willingness to deal with your problems. For example, you could write the following: “I spent my money unwisely and couldn’t pay the mortgage. I need to track my spending habits and get my account back in good standing.”

• Check if your expectations are realistic by looking at the goals you’ve set to solve the problem.
• For example, depending on how much your mortgage costs and how far behind you are in payments, you may not be able to pay the entire amount back in two or three months. Remember that you have to eat and pay other bills. Consider speaking to your lender, partner, or financial planner about strategies to effectively solve the problem.
• Maintaining realistic solutions minimizes stress that might make it difficult to deal with the problem effectively.

• Give yourself a chance to focus on what is positive in your life. This may put your problems in perspective and show you that you can deal with any challenge life throws at you.
• Say a positive affirmation to yourself. For example, “I know I have a problem with my grades overall, but I am really good at chemistry class. I can apply my skills from that class to my other ones.” [10] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
• Surround yourself with individuals who also have faith in your abilities and bolster your willingness to solve problems quickly and effectively.

Handling Challenges

• Demonstrate initiative in dealing with the problem. For example, if you know you can’t make a payment, call your lender or the company and explain your situation. Ask if you can find a solution that works for both parties. Likewise, if you got a bad review at work, schedule an appointment with your boss to see how you can best improve.
• Avoid being impulsive when you take action. For example, if a friend is spreading rumors about you, compose an email addressing her behavior. Allow the email to sit overnight so that you don’t write anything you may later regret.

• Remind yourself that you want to deal with your problems by reading the list of problems and goals you wrote.
• Speak to friends, family, and other persons involved in problems to help remind you that you want to successfully deal with them.
• Schedule an appointment with a counselor or mental health professional. If you find that your problems are causing you significant stress or you feel like they are overwhelming you so much that you can’t get your head around how to deal with them, talking to a professional might help. [12] X Trustworthy Source FamilyDoctor.org Family-focused medical advice site run by the American Academy of Family Doctors Go to source

• Use the problem as a learning experience. For example, if you couldn’t pay your mortgage because you spent the money on entertainment, learn that impulse spending can have serious consequences for yourself.
• Reframe your negative attitude with regard to problems by seeing it in a different light. For example, if you aren’t doing well in your history class but it is just before your favorite class, then look at the history class as being one step closer to your favorite time of the day. This may help improve your general attitude, help you pay attention and improve your grade.

• Find the positive with your problems, which may shift your mindset and help you more effectively deal with them. For example, “my bad grades made me realize that I really want to go to college and have to improve my performance at school to be accepted.”
• Avoid being afraid of the changes and remind yourself that you’re doing this to help yourself deal with problems. [15] X Research source
• Use positive language. For example, “I’m dealing with my problems in a constructive way. It’s going to take a while to solve, but I’m on the right path.”

• Try not to take responsibility for the outcome if the outcome depends on other people. For example, if your friend is spreading rumors, you can write her and address the issue, but you cannot expect her to apologize.
• Control only that what you can. For example, you cannot control if your friend will apologize after reading the letter. Likewise, you cannot control how a lender will react if you suggest a different payment solution on your delinquent mortgage. [17] X Trustworthy Source FamilyDoctor.org Family-focused medical advice site run by the American Academy of Family Doctors Go to source

• Stay positive. There is evidence that a positive attitude promotes progress. Sticking to your plans and positive attitude to deal with your problems, which can help you actively deal with them. [19] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public Go to source
• For example, if you continue to get bad grades, keep trying. Any progress on your grades is good progress.

• Take short breaks during the day to take a walk or a run. This can distract your mind from your problems and may make you more able to deal with them. [21] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
• Give yourself time alone or with the people you love. This can help remind you that you have support and why you are dealing with your problems. [22] X Research source

Expert Q&A

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• ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/staying-calm-in-turbulent-times
• ↑ http://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/prevention-wellness/emotional-wellbeing/mental-health/stress-how-to-cope-better-with-lifes-challenges.html
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/becoming-solutionary/201905/responsibility-freedom
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-confident-be-confident/201106/think-you-react
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/people-planet-profits/202203/how-build-your-problem-solving-skills
• ↑ https://www.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/nc-smart-goals-fact-sheet.pdf
• ↑ https://careerwise.minnstate.edu/exoffenders/create-plan/realistic-expectations.html
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/202201/how-believe-in-yourself
• ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/do-positive-affirmations-work/
• ↑ https://learningcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/changing-habits/
• ↑ https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/thoughts-are-just-thoughts
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-doesnt-kill-us/201611/how-see-challenges-opportunities
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hack-your-anxiety/202105/afraid-change-6-ways-embrace-it
• ↑ https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/healthy-lifestyle/mental-health-and-wellbeing/overcome-setbacks
• ↑ https://careerwise.minnstate.edu/mymncareers/advance-career/deal-with-setbacks.html
• ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/staying-positive-during-difficult-times-2020100121047
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201710/4-risk-factors-burnout-and-how-overcome-them
• ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/01/break
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201201/6-reasons-you-should-spend-more-time-alone

About This Article

Problems can often feel overwhelming and unsurpassable, but with a little positive thinking, you’ll be able to handle the challenge and keep moving. If you’ve just encountered a problem and you feel yourself panicking, take a few deep breaths to help yourself calm down. Then, repeat to yourself, “I can get through this. It’s challenging, but I can find a solution.” Once you’re calm, take some time to think about the problem and what possible solutions you have. Consider how time-sensitive the problem is as well. For example, if your toilet is overflowing, you’ll want to take action right away and call a plumber. On the other hand, if your grades are dropping, it might be best you sleep on it to give yourself more time to come up with a good plan. Additionally, using the SMART method is a good way to come up with solutions for your problem. This means choosing goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. Keep in mind that you may encounter setbacks as you try to fix your problem. Just stay positive and keep moving forward. It will work out eventually! To learn how to accept responsibility for your problems, read more from our Counselor co-author. Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Overview of the Problem-Solving Mental Process

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

• Identify the Problem
• Define the Problem
• Form a Strategy
• Organize Information
• Allocate Resources
• Monitor Progress
• Evaluate the Results

Frequently Asked Questions

Problem-solving is a mental process that involves discovering, analyzing, and solving problems. The ultimate goal of problem-solving is to overcome obstacles and find a solution that best resolves the issue.

The best strategy for solving a problem depends largely on the unique situation. In some cases, people are better off learning everything they can about the issue and then using factual knowledge to come up with a solution. In other instances, creativity and insight are the best options.

It is not necessary to follow problem-solving steps sequentially, It is common to skip steps or even go back through steps multiple times until the desired solution is reached.

In order to correctly solve a problem, it is often important to follow a series of steps. Researchers sometimes refer to this as the problem-solving cycle. While this cycle is portrayed sequentially, people rarely follow a rigid series of steps to find a solution.

The following steps include developing strategies and organizing knowledge.

1. Identifying the Problem

While it may seem like an obvious step, identifying the problem is not always as simple as it sounds. In some cases, people might mistakenly identify the wrong source of a problem, which will make attempts to solve it inefficient or even useless.

Some strategies that you might use to figure out the source of a problem include :

• Asking questions about the problem
• Breaking the problem down into smaller pieces
• Looking at the problem from different perspectives
• Conducting research to figure out what relationships exist between different variables

2. Defining the Problem

After the problem has been identified, it is important to fully define the problem so that it can be solved. You can define a problem by operationally defining each aspect of the problem and setting goals for what aspects of the problem you will address

At this point, you should focus on figuring out which aspects of the problems are facts and which are opinions. State the problem clearly and identify the scope of the solution.

3. Forming a Strategy

After the problem has been identified, it is time to start brainstorming potential solutions. This step usually involves generating as many ideas as possible without judging their quality. Once several possibilities have been generated, they can be evaluated and narrowed down.

The next step is to develop a strategy to solve the problem. The approach used will vary depending upon the situation and the individual's unique preferences. Common problem-solving strategies include heuristics and algorithms.

• Heuristics are mental shortcuts that are often based on solutions that have worked in the past. They can work well if the problem is similar to something you have encountered before and are often the best choice if you need a fast solution.
• Algorithms are step-by-step strategies that are guaranteed to produce a correct result. While this approach is great for accuracy, it can also consume time and resources.

Heuristics are often best used when time is of the essence, while algorithms are a better choice when a decision needs to be as accurate as possible.

4. Organizing Information

Before coming up with a solution, you need to first organize the available information. What do you know about the problem? What do you not know? The more information that is available the better prepared you will be to come up with an accurate solution.

When approaching a problem, it is important to make sure that you have all the data you need. Making a decision without adequate information can lead to biased or inaccurate results.

5. Allocating Resources

Of course, we don't always have unlimited money, time, and other resources to solve a problem. Before you begin to solve a problem, you need to determine how high priority it is.

If it is an important problem, it is probably worth allocating more resources to solving it. If, however, it is a fairly unimportant problem, then you do not want to spend too much of your available resources on coming up with a solution.

At this stage, it is important to consider all of the factors that might affect the problem at hand. This includes looking at the available resources, deadlines that need to be met, and any possible risks involved in each solution. After careful evaluation, a decision can be made about which solution to pursue.

6. Monitoring Progress

After selecting a problem-solving strategy, it is time to put the plan into action and see if it works. This step might involve trying out different solutions to see which one is the most effective.

It is also important to monitor the situation after implementing a solution to ensure that the problem has been solved and that no new problems have arisen as a result of the proposed solution.

Effective problem-solvers tend to monitor their progress as they work towards a solution. If they are not making good progress toward reaching their goal, they will reevaluate their approach or look for new strategies .

7. Evaluating the Results

After a solution has been reached, it is important to evaluate the results to determine if it is the best possible solution to the problem. This evaluation might be immediate, such as checking the results of a math problem to ensure the answer is correct, or it can be delayed, such as evaluating the success of a therapy program after several months of treatment.

Once a problem has been solved, it is important to take some time to reflect on the process that was used and evaluate the results. This will help you to improve your problem-solving skills and become more efficient at solving future problems.

A Word From Verywell​

It is important to remember that there are many different problem-solving processes with different steps, and this is just one example. Problem-solving in real-world situations requires a great deal of resourcefulness, flexibility, resilience, and continuous interaction with the environment.

Get Advice From The Verywell Mind Podcast

Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares how you can stop dwelling in a negative mindset.

Follow Now : Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts

You can become a better problem solving by:

• Practicing brainstorming and coming up with multiple potential solutions to problems
• Being open-minded and considering all possible options before making a decision
• Breaking down problems into smaller, more manageable pieces
• Asking for help when needed
• Researching different problem-solving techniques and trying out new ones
• Learning from mistakes and using them as opportunities to grow

It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about what's going on. Try to see things from their perspective as well as your own. Work together to find a resolution that works for both of you. Be willing to compromise and accept that there may not be a perfect solution.

Take breaks if things are getting too heated, and come back to the problem when you feel calm and collected. Don't try to fix every problem on your own—consider asking a therapist or counselor for help and insight.

If you've tried everything and there doesn't seem to be a way to fix the problem, you may have to learn to accept it. This can be difficult, but try to focus on the positive aspects of your life and remember that every situation is temporary. Don't dwell on what's going wrong—instead, think about what's going right. Find support by talking to friends or family. Seek professional help if you're having trouble coping.

Davidson JE, Sternberg RJ, editors.  The Psychology of Problem Solving .  Cambridge University Press; 2003. doi:10.1017/CBO9780511615771

Sarathy V. Real world problem-solving .  Front Hum Neurosci . 2018;12:261. Published 2018 Jun 26. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2018.00261

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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15 Most Common Life Problems — And How To Solve Every Single One Of Them

Problems are forever and we can't avoid them — but we can solve them..

• Tim Denning

Last updated on May 10, 2023

All of our problems are the same. Problems are forever and we can’t avoid them.

You’ll wake up tomorrow and have problems with breakfast. You’ll jump on the train and read a problem in your email inbox. You’ll get to the office and get a problem smack bang in your pretty face!

But the typical problems we face can be solved .

RELATED: Why We *Need* Something To Look Forward To, According To Science

Here are the 15 most common problems in life and how to solve each one:

1. you didn’t reach your goal..

Just because you set a goal doesn’t mean you’re going to get it. Many of life’s toughest goals take lots of attempts. Some of the goals I missed are:

• Dream careers
• Girls I wanted to date
• Saving enough money to build a school in Laos
• Reaching 100k followers on LinkedIn

People who talk about success and personal development also don’t reach their goals. The best feeling about reaching a goal is the journey it took to get there. If all your goals were easy, then you’d feel nothing at the end of the process.

Solution: Take the goal you didn’t achieve and try a different approach.

Doing the same thing over and over to achieve your goal is the definition of insanity. Your heroes miss their goals too. What makes them stand out is that they don’t give up. The fun of goal-setting is knowing that you’ll fail.

2. Someone criticized you.

If you want to make a dent in this world, then the critics will come out of the closet. The bigger your aspirations are, the more you’ll be criticized. The number of critics you have is in direct proportion to your success.

I had an entire blog post written about me saying how stupid I was. It felt like crap on day one. By day seven I’d made peace with the criticism and kept writing.

Solution: You can’t please everybody that you meet in life. When you speak on a stage, for example, 25% of people will like you, 25% won’t know who you are and 50% of people will think you’re a jerk even though you’ve probably done nothing wrong.

Critics are not all bad. You can learn things about yourself from them too. The solution is to learn from criticism, not be afraid of it.

3. Your career got messed up.

Whether you’re an entrepreneur or a happy-go-lucky office worker, your career is going to get messed up at some point.

The definition of business is this: Moving from one problem to another and making money in the meantime to fuel your mission. Business is really just problem-solving.

• Redundancy could right-hook you in the face.
• The business you founded could go backward and even bankrupt.
• Your career skills could become outdated.
• You could get fired for making a mistake.

Your career is going to get messed up. Things you can never predict in your career are going to happen.

Solution: See career challenges for what they are: an opportunity to try something different.

If your career never got messed up, then you’d probably stay in your comfort zone for your entire life and never try something different. The solution is to see your career getting messed up as a chance to grow.

Getting made redundant could be the one reality that makes you want to create your own startup. Having a customer leave could decrease your workload and create space for clients who won’t drain your time and make you no money.

RELATED: People With These 7 Personality Traits Have What It Takes To Survive (Pretty Much) Anything

4. You have financial troubles.

That crazy little thing called money will let you down at some point. I’ve personally been rich and poor multiple times.

Upon reflection, the time I’ve been the happiest has been when I’ve had the least amount of money. Countless studies have shown that money isn’t what your life’s about . As humans, we seek meaning, love, and our own version of happiness. Money won’t give you any of those human needs.

That doesn’t mean money doesn’t matter; it just means that it shouldn’t be your main focus or something you obsess over.

Solution: The solution to financial problems is to see them as a gift and choose a meaning for your life instead.

Lack of money is a gift. When you don’t have money, you become resourceful and creative at the same time. Lack of money helps you decide on what matters and what doesn’t.

If things get really bad, then you’ll likely prioritize feeding your family over buying another useless car that will never make you happy. You’ll take joy in the simple things in life.

5. You’re unhealthy.

Our health has become a real problem. We wonder why we feel tired, sick, and get headaches. We’ll all experience health challenges at some point in our life. How many health challenges we experience in our younger years will come down to food and exercise.

The strategies for being healthy haven’t changed. There’s no mystery around being healthy, it’s just that we’ve become lazy. Convenience powered by apps has overtaken our ability to do basic tasks and not binge-watch Netflix every night.

Solution: Take ownership.

Quit feeling sick and do something about it. Have some blood tests. Change your diet to be more plant-based. Drink more water . Get to the gym three times a week for 30 minutes. Stand up from your desk every now and then so you’re not sitting for the whole day and messing your spine/neck up.

Whatever you do, take ownership of your health and quit being ignorant.

6. A relationship ended.

There’s less than 1% of people who met "The One," lived happily ever after, and never experienced a breakup. Even that 1% will have that relationship end at some point when either side passes away.

For the majority of us who don’t strike gold the first time around, we’re going to have to deal with breakups and the trials and tribulations of romance.

• We’ll probably find ourselves in a toxic relationship for too long.
• We’ll probably get cheated on at least once.
• We’ll probably have our hearts smashed into a million pieces when we discover that someone ‘No longer loves us anymore.’

These are the realities of the human condition and our need to reproduce and keep our species alive.

Solution: Finding love is about understanding what love is not. You need relationships to end to find out what love really is.

All breakups suck in the beginning until you grow and move on. Then, the solution to this problem is to find yourself.

Once you find yourself, the heart will be ready for love again. How you move forward from there is up to you. You can try the good old fashion nightclub scene. You could go to Meetups. Or, you could start swiping left and right on a few dating apps.

Have your heart broken — just don’t let it stay that way.

7. You made yourself look like a jerk.

This one is an ugly truth for me. I’ve embarrassed myself more times than I’ve had protein and veggies for dinner. Here are a few just for laughs (and your entertainment):

• There was the time I tried to pretend I could be the Wolf of Wall Street and got laughed out of the interview due to not being able to explain derivatives.
• There was the time I thought this girl liked me and tried to hug her while we were walking only to have her hate my guts.
• There was the time I went out with friends and threw up on my friend’s couch after having a single shot of tequila.
• There was the time I did my first public speaking gig and messed up a speech about my own life which I’d rehearsed over 100 times.

We could talk for days about how I’ve embarrassed myself over the years. We could even compare epic fails to see whose are worse. This is not a game though. We’re all going to go into situations with the best of intentions or all the experience in the world and still screw up.

Solution: Embarrassing yourself is a sign of courage. Courage is what is found in leaders and those who are doers.

Embarrassing yourself is an acceptance that you might fail in the short term. Those who fail in the short term will eventually win in the long term with practice.

The opposite of embarrassing yourself is perfection. That’s a life where you think too highly of yourself and you spend your entire day trying to impress everybody to eventually impress nobody. Making an idiot of yourself is perfectly fine. What’s not fine is being perfect.

RELATED: How To Keep A Positive Attitude In A Negative World

8. Someone messed your stuff up.

Car, home, or insert other material possession that doesn’t matter — none of these material things that got messed up are joining you in the afterlife. You can’t bury the Bentley with you so you can drive around with your great, great, great grandpa and do burnouts in the afterlife.

The stuff that is going to get messed up doesn’t matter.

Solution: What matters is that you don’t get messed up. What matters is that you take care of yourself so you can take care of others.

Maybe when your junk gets messed up, you’ll realize that you didn’t need it in the first place.

9. You feel like your life has no meaning.

These moments where nothing makes sense are where you get to explore. We’re not born with a meaning for our life. Meaning comes from learning who we are and growing as a person. The meaning for your life when you’re 19 will probably change from when you’re 51 and have three grown-up kids.

The quickest way to destroy your life is to believe that life has no meaning. A lack of meaning leads to depression, carelessness, drug-taking, and even crime at an extreme level.

Solution: If you feel like your life has no meaning, then it’s time to experiment.

Standing still is not how you find the answer. Being intensely focused on one’s self only leads to more suffering. A short-term solution to this problem is to experiment with helping those who have nothing. Spend time with people who’d kill to be in your position and get some perspective.

I’ve found in my life that the greatest meaning for your life is normally tied to finding something you’d be happy to do for free that helps others.

10. You feel like you can’t go on.

We’ve all had those days. Those deep and sometimes dark thoughts can lead to a place you’ve never visited. Some failures in life hurt more than others. Some failures can’t be solved through a listicle post such as this one with a dose of inspiration.

If you truly feel like you can’t go on, there’s another way.

Solution: Seek real help.

These dark thoughts must be treated. and sometimes the best medicine is to seek professional help through counseling, or for an extreme case, by calling Lifeline .

While I’ve never had suicidal thoughts, personally, I have dealt with mental illness. There is a way to come out the other side, but you have to put aside your pride and seek help. Please don’t become another victim of suicide by doing nothing.

11. Every day feels the same.

You wake up. You eat. You go to work. You eat. You come home. You eat. You go to bed.

Life can feel the same if you do nothing. It’s up to you to create variety and shape your habits into something more than a fixed schedule that makes you feel bored. Days feel the same when there’s no purpose behind anything you’re doing.

Solution: You must find joy in the repetition.

You do that by taking those reps and making them mean something. Add some variety by breaking your comfort zone. Set a goal to do something wild during your day every so often.

• Travel to another country
• Talk to someone new
• Try learning a new skill

Even after trying something new, you have to get used to some level of repetition. Let that repetition become habits that serve something which can help others.

12. Your friends are screwing your life up.

Dump them. Divorce them. Delete their number.

Every relationship you have in your life is a choice. The people around us often hold us back . They fill our minds with limiting beliefs, stories, and goals that give us no sense of meaning.

Friends can kill our dreams or make us believe something we never thought was possible.

Solution: Everyone deserves a second chance. Start by telling your toxic friends how you feel.

Give them a chance to change with the new you. If they refuse, take a break from them for a while. Ask yourself whether you want them in your life long-term.

"Fitting in" is what we’re taught to do. What I’d advise you to do is be you instead, and that will attract the right people into your life.

RELATED: How To Stop Living Your Life Based On Your Fears

13. You feel stressed.

About 77% of people in the United States alone experience regular stress.

I recently learned about the effects of stress . I had a cortisol test and the doctor found the levels to be twice the normal range. This stress led to brain fog, tiredness, and a lack of mental clarity.

Stress is also caused by what you let into your life. Having options can be a bad thing.

Solution: We don’t need more; we need less to destress:

• Declutter your home and office.
• Say no to more meetings.
• Say yes to invites from people that make you feel like saying “Hell yes!”
• Buy less material things.
• Have fewer people in your life.
• Listen to one podcast instead of many.
• Read fewer books instead of everyone that’s recommended on a podcast.
• Have fewer recurring subscriptions.
• Invest and save more money so you can stress less about unexpected bills.
• Take regular breaks (quarterly has worked for me).

14. A fear is standing in your way.

There are so many common fears — fear of spiders, flying, public speaking, dying, career change, heights, and maybe even a fear of expressing yourself.

Fear is a concept of the mind. Nothing is scary or not scary. Our mind makes that choice for us and provides meaning to everything.​ Fear can be overcome and that’s why we love stories of battling with fear. I’ve famously spoken about creating fear lists and then knocking them off one at a time.

Solution: Smash the fear into tiny little pieces.

Don’t avoid it. Don’t let it stand in your way any longer. Make a decision to overcome each fear you have and you’ll be unstoppable by the end.

Don’t let nerves trick you into thinking you’re fearful. We all get nerves, but we can still keep moving forward with nerves — I’ve even learned to use nerves to my advantage by using them as an extra energy source.

Nerves tell me I’m on the right track. I’ve overcome my fear of public speaking and my fear of flying — my fear of spiders remains, but I’m working on that one. Real fear can be overcome through deliberate practice.

15. You're dealing with the concept of death.

Last but not least, the old chestnut of death. Death is the one life problem we all have in common and can’t solve. Sorry for the bad news. Death is going to take us eventually and it will take people you love through your life too.

Solution: The solution to dealing with death is not to overcome it but to accept it.

Death can be our greatest motivator if we let it. Once you understand what death means in all of its darkness, you’ll understand life. You’ll see death not as a problem but as a fact. That fact will change the way you see everything going forward.

For me, it took several near-death experiences (almost being murdered and a cancer scare) to see death for what it is. Death is not an easy pill to swallow. No post like this is going to give you all the answers you’re probably wanting to know.

The only way I see of dealing with the reality of death is to go out there and live the best damn life you can, while you can! Use your life to do something that gives you meaning and then you’ll no longer see death as a problem when it comes upon you.

RELATED: 11 Little Habits Of The Strongest, Most Resilient People

Tim Denning is a writer for Business Insider and CNBC whose work focuses on personal development and entrepreneurship.

This article was originally published at Medium . Reprinted with permission from the author.

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How to Deal With Different Problems in Life

Last Updated: April 8, 2021 References

This article was co-authored by Leah Morris . Leah Morris is a Life and Relationship Transition coach and the owner of Life Remade, a holistic personal coaching service. With over three years as a professional coach, she specializes in guiding people as they move through both short-term and long-term life transitions. Leah holds a BA in Organizational Communication from California State University, Chico and is a certified Transformational Life Coach through the Southwest Institute for Healing Arts. There are 18 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 117,888 times.

Money, relationships, family, health, school, careers. Problems can and will pop up in nearly every area of life. The longer you live, the more obstacles you must overcome. Learning to handle life's problems effectively is an essential skill that can have a drastic effect on your health and happiness. Building solid problem-solving strategies and coping skills can help you manage when life throws its punches.

Developing Problem-Solving Skills

• For example, you are short on money for the bills. Find out the source of the problem. Why are you short this month? It could be you need to find a better paying job to account for a rise in expenses, pick up more hours at work, or stop spending needlessly on entertainment.

• For example, if you are short on money, your objective would be to make extra money or increase your income in some way.

• For example, if you are hoping to increase the income in your household, you can pare this goal down to saving $100 first. Then, your goal might be to double that amount, and so forth. This is much more feasible than setting a goal to just save $500 right off the bat.

• The variables to increase your income could be working more hours, searching for a better paying job, or decreasing other expenses to free up more income.

• Perhaps, you cannot find a new job or increase your work hours right now. Therefore, the only option available to you would be finding ways to cut back on other expenses.

Stocking Your Coping Toolbox

• Weight gain or loss
• Difficulty breathing
• Sleep problems
• Changes in appetite

• A hobby can be anything that you enjoy doing. Try reading, writing, sports, hiking, canoeing, skating, painting, gardening, etc. There are endless possibilities for finding something you like to do and doing it regularly.

• Do something relaxing like stretching, listening to soothing music, taking a long, hot bath, or getting a massage. [11] X Research source

• Try progressive muscle by sitting quietly and comfortably in a chair or on a cushion. Move slowly through each muscle group in your body, tensing and releasing the different muscles. Start with your toes. Tense them for 5 seconds and take notice of how this feels. Next, release the tension and simply remain in the relaxed state for about 30 seconds before moving on to a new muscle group.

Coping with Interpersonal Issues

• Aim to listen for understanding rather than responding. You probably spend most of your time listening thinking up what you are going to say next. Take the time to really hear what the other person is saying in your daily interactions. This leaves less room for misunderstandings.
• Purposely go out of your way to shatter stereotypes. Do you have an unsupported opinion about a certain individual or group? Make an effort to meet, talk to, and get to know this individual(s) and see if your opinion changes.
• Learn more about the world by reading, watching films or documentaries, and visiting museums that educate you about people from different walks of life.

• An "I" statement starts by expressing a feeling, explaining the why behind the feeling, and offering a practical solution. An "I" statement might include the following: "I feel unappreciated when you drop tasks on me at the last minute. It would be great if you could try to give me advanced notice next time."

• Constantly judging, nagging, or shaming others for their wrongness while emphasizing your rightness doesn't do anyone any good. [18] X Research source Remember, "a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still". Trying to change others only frustrates you (and them).
• Focus on working on your own faults instead of expending so much energy on others. [19] X Research source

• Apologies express remorse, admit responsibility, make amends, and strive to prevent the same mistake from happening in the future.
• An example of an apology could be "I apologize for not being respectful of your free time. I will do the work myself this time, and next time I will be sure to give you a heads up to check that you are available."

Having a Healthy Outlook

• Grab a sheet of paper and list all of the accomplishments, values, and positive qualities about yourself you can think of. Also, call a close friend or family member who knows you well. Ask this person to help you identify your strengths.
• If you have trouble figuring out your strengths, take a free online assessment like the VIA Character Strengths Assessment. [22] X Research source
• After you have identified your strengths, learn to channel them effectively in your life. Review each strengths and figure out ways that you already use this strength in your life. Then, brainstorm additional ways you can use this strength to your advantage. [23] X Research source

• Start a gratitude journal by writing out a few things that went well during each day.
• Say "thank you" more.
• Write gratitude letters to your family, friends, and acquaintances who have been a help to you in some way.
• Transform your language to use these words more "gifts", "fortunate", "blessings", and "abundance".

Expert Q&A

You Might Also Like

• ↑ http://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/sk/problem-solving-skills.htm
• ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-management/art-20044502
• ↑ http://asq.org/learn-about-quality/problem-solving/overview/overview.html
• ↑ http://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/prevention-wellness/emotional-wellbeing/mental-health/stress-how-to-cope-better-with-lifes-challenges.html
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/social-support/art-20044445?pg=2
• ↑ http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/conditions/stress-coping-everyday-problems
• ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
• ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/12-ways-to-shut-off-your-brain-before-bedtime/
• ↑ http://www.stress.org.uk/exercise.aspx
• ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/relaxation-technique/art-20045368?pg=2
• ↑ http://time.com/3562863/5-ways-to-be-more-empathetic/
• ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-wise-brain/201410/accept-them-they-are
• ↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/11/14/you-can-only-change-yourself/
• ↑ https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/how-to-apologize.htm
• ↑ http://www.viacharacter.org/www
• ↑ http://www.actionforhappiness.org/take-action/find-your-strengths-and-focus-on-using-them
• ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/ten_ways_to_become_more_grateful1/

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How to Solve Problems Like an Expert

It's not so much what you know as how easily you can retrieve what you know..

Posted September 7, 2013

You have a problem when your current situation differs from your desired goal. You want to be rich, but your checking account balance is circling the drain. You want to date that gorgeous person, but you get tongue-tied whenever you even think about it. You are running late for work, and your car won’t start. In each case, what you want and what you have are decidedly different.

Problem solving is nothing more and nothing less searching for means to reduce the differences between your goal state and your current state. Yes, that’s right: All problem solving, at bottom, is search. When there is a clear procedure that will take you from the one to the other, we call that a well-defined problem. Making scrambled eggs is a well-defined problem. For the first, you simply follow a recipe, and voila, you’ve got breakfast.

If there is no clear procedure, we call that an ill-defined problem. Unfortunately, most of life’s important problems are ill defined. How do you make enough money to save for retirement , how do you avoid war, or how do you get that girl or guy to go out with you? These are all ill-defined problems because they don’t have clear goal states (how much is “enough” for retirement?) or they don’t have clear solution paths (how do you attract the interest of someone you find attractive?).

In 1945, the brilliant mathematician, George Pólya (1887–1985) wrote the quintessential text for solving problems, aptly titled How to Solve It. Here is how he summarized the problem-solving process.

1. First, make sure you understand the problem. You do this by developing a representation of the essential aspects of the problem. You do that by searching your knowledge base for information that seems to you to be solution-relevant.

2. After understanding, then make a plan for solving the problem. This will also usually involve searching one’s knowledge base for solutions that are appropriate for the problem as represented.

3. Carry out the plan by executing your solutions.

4. Look back on your work and ask “how could it be better?”

That is how it should be done. But most people make one huge mistake that derails the entire process, making it far less likely that they will succeed. What is that mistake?

They skip the first step.

Regardless of the domain, inexperienced problem-solvers tend to jump right to the solution stage of problem solving, with typically disastrous consequences. They often use a trial-and-error strategy in which the first solution that comes to mind is put into play. Because they didn’t take the time to fully understand the problem, their solution attempts fail when foreseeable glitches arise.

In contrast, experts tend to spend more time developing a full understanding of the problem, comparing what they currently know about the problem with what they need to know in order to get a complete picture of the situation. Because they spend more time in the problem representation stage, they are more likely to derive successful solutions, and to spend less time overall in generating a successful solution.

Here are three tips for executing step one like an expert.

1. Organize knowledge correctly. Often, novices have all the knowledge they need to solve the problem at hand. They just can’t get to it because their knowledge is organized in ways that make it difficult to see the connection between the current problem and what they already know.

Experts organize their knowledge in problem schemas that include relevant information about a type of problem and the procedures for solving problems of that type. This means that when experts think about problems, relevant information is automatically activated in memory , along with relevant solution procedures. In contrast, when novices think about a problem, their knowledge is too general and too scattered throughout memory, making problem-solving a tedious trial-and-error search. For example, a novice salesperson will focus on the general goal of “make the sale”, and will apply sales techniques in willy-nilly or fixed fashion to reach that goal. An experienced salesperson will focus on the specific goal of understanding what the customer needs and wants, and in developing a trust relationship with the customer. As a result, the experienced salesperson spends less time “working” the customer or showing them things in which they have no interest.

2. Ask the right questions. If you’ve ever done a Google search, you know that the quality of the search results depends entirely on the quality of the keywords you use. Garbage in, garbage out. This in a nutshell, is the key to developing a strong understanding of a problem—asking the right questions.

Experts are more likely to ask the right questions because their domain-specific knowledge is organized more efficiently. Continuing with the previous example, an expert salesperson’s schema is organized around understanding customer wants and needs. As a result, he or she will spend more time asking specific questions about those needs and wants, and then tailoring subsequent choices to match the answers given. Sometimes the customer isn’t aware that there are product features that may be attractive to them. For example, they may focus on price yet be unaware that a higher priced item carries a better warranty. Because the salesperson has taken the time to impress upon the customer that their needs and wants matter, a relationship of trust is established that makes it easier for the salesperson to introduce these relevant features without putting the customer off. In contrast, novice salespeople will often deluge the customer with more product features than they can possibly remember and process, or will try hard-sell techniques that create an atmosphere of distrust .

3. Work forward from known to unknown. Because of the way expert knowledge is organized, experts solve problems by working forward from the information given (or information obtained) to arrive at a viable solution. Novices, on the other hand, tend to work backwards because they are focused more at arriving at a quick solution that at ensuring that they fully understand the problem. As a result, the typically have incomplete problem-solving schemas that are full of irrelevant information. This slows down the problem-solving process, and makes it less likely that a viable solution will be reached—or remembered!

For three more tips on how to be a better problem solver, see this article Dr. Art Markman.

References: Pólya, George (1957). How to Solve It. Garden City, NY: Doubleday.

Dr. Denise Cummins is a Fellow of the Association for Psychological Science, and the author of Good Thinking: Seven Powerful Ideas That Influence the Way We Think (2012, Cambridge University Press).

Denise Dellarosa Cummins, Ph.D. , is the author of Good Thinking, The Historical Foundations of Cognitive Science , and Evolution of Mind.

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