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Problem-Solving Strategies and Obstacles

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

how solve problems in life

Sean is a fact-checker and researcher with experience in sociology, field research, and data analytics.

how solve problems in life

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From deciding what to eat for dinner to considering whether it's the right time to buy a house, problem-solving is a large part of our daily lives. Learn some of the problem-solving strategies that exist and how to use them in real life, along with ways to overcome obstacles that are making it harder to resolve the issues you face.

What Is Problem-Solving?

In cognitive psychology , the term 'problem-solving' refers to the mental process that people go through to discover, analyze, and solve problems.

A problem exists when there is a goal that we want to achieve but the process by which we will achieve it is not obvious to us. Put another way, there is something that we want to occur in our life, yet we are not immediately certain how to make it happen.

Maybe you want a better relationship with your spouse or another family member but you're not sure how to improve it. Or you want to start a business but are unsure what steps to take. Problem-solving helps you figure out how to achieve these desires.

The problem-solving process involves:

  • Discovery of the problem
  • Deciding to tackle the issue
  • Seeking to understand the problem more fully
  • Researching available options or solutions
  • Taking action to resolve the issue

Before problem-solving can occur, it is important to first understand the exact nature of the problem itself. If your understanding of the issue is faulty, your attempts to resolve it will also be incorrect or flawed.

Problem-Solving Mental Processes

Several mental processes are at work during problem-solving. Among them are:

  • Perceptually recognizing the problem
  • Representing the problem in memory
  • Considering relevant information that applies to the problem
  • Identifying different aspects of the problem
  • Labeling and describing the problem

Problem-Solving Strategies

There are many ways to go about solving a problem. Some of these strategies might be used on their own, or you may decide to employ multiple approaches when working to figure out and fix a problem.

An algorithm is a step-by-step procedure that, by following certain "rules" produces a solution. Algorithms are commonly used in mathematics to solve division or multiplication problems. But they can be used in other fields as well.

In psychology, algorithms can be used to help identify individuals with a greater risk of mental health issues. For instance, research suggests that certain algorithms might help us recognize children with an elevated risk of suicide or self-harm.

One benefit of algorithms is that they guarantee an accurate answer. However, they aren't always the best approach to problem-solving, in part because detecting patterns can be incredibly time-consuming.

There are also concerns when machine learning is involved—also known as artificial intelligence (AI)—such as whether they can accurately predict human behaviors.

Heuristics are shortcut strategies that people can use to solve a problem at hand. These "rule of thumb" approaches allow you to simplify complex problems, reducing the total number of possible solutions to a more manageable set.

If you find yourself sitting in a traffic jam, for example, you may quickly consider other routes, taking one to get moving once again. When shopping for a new car, you might think back to a prior experience when negotiating got you a lower price, then employ the same tactics.

While heuristics may be helpful when facing smaller issues, major decisions shouldn't necessarily be made using a shortcut approach. Heuristics also don't guarantee an effective solution, such as when trying to drive around a traffic jam only to find yourself on an equally crowded route.

Trial and Error

A trial-and-error approach to problem-solving involves trying a number of potential solutions to a particular issue, then ruling out those that do not work. If you're not sure whether to buy a shirt in blue or green, for instance, you may try on each before deciding which one to purchase.

This can be a good strategy to use if you have a limited number of solutions available. But if there are many different choices available, narrowing down the possible options using another problem-solving technique can be helpful before attempting trial and error.

In some cases, the solution to a problem can appear as a sudden insight. You are facing an issue in a relationship or your career when, out of nowhere, the solution appears in your mind and you know exactly what to do.

Insight can occur when the problem in front of you is similar to an issue that you've dealt with in the past. Although, you may not recognize what is occurring since the underlying mental processes that lead to insight often happen outside of conscious awareness .

Research indicates that insight is most likely to occur during times when you are alone—such as when going on a walk by yourself, when you're in the shower, or when lying in bed after waking up.

How to Apply Problem-Solving Strategies in Real Life

If you're facing a problem, you can implement one or more of these strategies to find a potential solution. Here's how to use them in real life:

  • Create a flow chart . If you have time, you can take advantage of the algorithm approach to problem-solving by sitting down and making a flow chart of each potential solution, its consequences, and what happens next.
  • Recall your past experiences . When a problem needs to be solved fairly quickly, heuristics may be a better approach. Think back to when you faced a similar issue, then use your knowledge and experience to choose the best option possible.
  • Start trying potential solutions . If your options are limited, start trying them one by one to see which solution is best for achieving your desired goal. If a particular solution doesn't work, move on to the next.
  • Take some time alone . Since insight is often achieved when you're alone, carve out time to be by yourself for a while. The answer to your problem may come to you, seemingly out of the blue, if you spend some time away from others.

Obstacles to Problem-Solving

Problem-solving is not a flawless process as there are a number of obstacles that can interfere with our ability to solve a problem quickly and efficiently. These obstacles include:

  • Assumptions: When dealing with a problem, people can make assumptions about the constraints and obstacles that prevent certain solutions. Thus, they may not even try some potential options.
  • Functional fixedness : This term refers to the tendency to view problems only in their customary manner. Functional fixedness prevents people from fully seeing all of the different options that might be available to find a solution.
  • Irrelevant or misleading information: When trying to solve a problem, it's important to distinguish between information that is relevant to the issue and irrelevant data that can lead to faulty solutions. The more complex the problem, the easier it is to focus on misleading or irrelevant information.
  • Mental set: A mental set is a tendency to only use solutions that have worked in the past rather than looking for alternative ideas. A mental set can work as a heuristic, making it a useful problem-solving tool. However, mental sets can also lead to inflexibility, making it more difficult to find effective solutions.

How to Improve Your Problem-Solving Skills

In the end, if your goal is to become a better problem-solver, it's helpful to remember that this is a process. Thus, if you want to improve your problem-solving skills, following these steps can help lead you to your solution:

  • Recognize that a problem exists . If you are facing a problem, there are generally signs. For instance, if you have a mental illness , you may experience excessive fear or sadness, mood changes, and changes in sleeping or eating habits. Recognizing these signs can help you realize that an issue exists.
  • Decide to solve the problem . Make a conscious decision to solve the issue at hand. Commit to yourself that you will go through the steps necessary to find a solution.
  • Seek to fully understand the issue . Analyze the problem you face, looking at it from all sides. If your problem is relationship-related, for instance, ask yourself how the other person may be interpreting the issue. You might also consider how your actions might be contributing to the situation.
  • Research potential options . Using the problem-solving strategies mentioned, research potential solutions. Make a list of options, then consider each one individually. What are some pros and cons of taking the available routes? What would you need to do to make them happen?
  • Take action . Select the best solution possible and take action. Action is one of the steps required for change . So, go through the motions needed to resolve the issue.
  • Try another option, if needed . If the solution you chose didn't work, don't give up. Either go through the problem-solving process again or simply try another option.

You can find a way to solve your problems as long as you keep working toward this goal—even if the best solution is simply to let go because no other good solution exists.

Sarathy V. Real world problem-solving .  Front Hum Neurosci . 2018;12:261. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2018.00261

Dunbar K. Problem solving . A Companion to Cognitive Science . 2017. doi:10.1002/9781405164535.ch20

Stewart SL, Celebre A, Hirdes JP, Poss JW. Risk of suicide and self-harm in kids: The development of an algorithm to identify high-risk individuals within the children's mental health system . Child Psychiat Human Develop . 2020;51:913-924. doi:10.1007/s10578-020-00968-9

Rosenbusch H, Soldner F, Evans AM, Zeelenberg M. Supervised machine learning methods in psychology: A practical introduction with annotated R code . Soc Personal Psychol Compass . 2021;15(2):e12579. doi:10.1111/spc3.12579

Mishra S. Decision-making under risk: Integrating perspectives from biology, economics, and psychology . Personal Soc Psychol Rev . 2014;18(3):280-307. doi:10.1177/1088868314530517

Csikszentmihalyi M, Sawyer K. Creative insight: The social dimension of a solitary moment . In: The Systems Model of Creativity . 2015:73-98. doi:10.1007/978-94-017-9085-7_7

Chrysikou EG, Motyka K, Nigro C, Yang SI, Thompson-Schill SL. Functional fixedness in creative thinking tasks depends on stimulus modality .  Psychol Aesthet Creat Arts . 2016;10(4):425‐435. doi:10.1037/aca0000050

Huang F, Tang S, Hu Z. Unconditional perseveration of the short-term mental set in chunk decomposition .  Front Psychol . 2018;9:2568. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.02568

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Schooler JW, Ohlsson S, Brooks K. Thoughts beyond words: When language overshadows insight. J Experiment Psychol: General . 1993;122:166-183. doi:10.1037/0096-3445.2.166

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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How to Face Problems in Your Life

Last Updated: February 6, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS . Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 276,909 times.

Having problems in your life can feel overwhelming and it may be that the last thing you want to do is face them. Fortunately though, dealing and coping with problems is a well-studied area and there are many cognitive, emotional, and behavioral steps that can be taken to effectively face your problems head on.

Accepting and Understanding the Problem

Step 1 Acknowledge the problem.

  • If you don’t think you have a problem, but everyone tells you there is a problem, try to see if there is truth to it.
  • If you are having trouble admitting you have a problem, you might be in denial. For example, if you don’t want to accept that a close family member is involved with drugs, you might come up with other excuses for her behavior.
  • While denial can be useful at times by protecting your mental health, it can in other cases lead you away from dealing with the problem head on. [2] X Research source
  • In fact, avoidance often exacerbates the problem and doesn’t provide any lasting relief. Avoiding your problem will continue to create a cycle of stress for you as it will always be weighing on the back of your mind.
  • That said, sometimes a little escapism can be healthy. If you find yourself overwhelmed and stressed out, take a break! Watch a TV show or read a book, or engage in some other hobby you enjoy. You could even just zone out and let your mind wander! [3] X Research source

Step 2 Avoid catastrophizing.

  • You can avoid catastrophizing by being cognizant of when you are doing it. This requires that you monitor your own thoughts and try to check them for accuracy.
  • You can monitor your thoughts by remembering to think about them and by asking yourself if someone else had that thought, would you think they were being accurate?

Step 3 Think of the origin of the problem.

  • If you think you know when the problem started, think about events that happened at that time. The root cause might be related to it. For example, if your grades started slipping in school after your father moved away, maybe you’re having a hard time adjusting to this change.

Step 4 Put things into perspective.

  • For example, your problem might be that you don’t manage to make it to school on time. By changing a few habits or making different transportation arrangements, this can be changed.
  • Some things can’t be changed, such as a permanent disability or the death of a loved one, but you can learn to live with it and thrive in the wake of it. Also keep in mind that people often think negative events will make them feel worse and worse for longer than they actually do.
  • Telling yourself this isn’t the end of the world doesn’t mean your problem is not really a problem or is insignificant. It just helps you internalize that your problems are not insurmountable.

Step 5 Embrace the challenge.

  • Dealing with problems and solving them can make you more competent and also more empathetic toward others who have their own problems.

Expressing That You Have a Problem

Step 1 Write your problem down.

  • For example, if your problem is that you don't have enough money, you could write that down. You could also write down the implications of that problem to drive home the point and motivate you to solve it. An implication of not having enough money might be that you are stressed out and that you can't enjoy the kinds of things that you would like to.
  • If the problem isn't something private, put the list somewhere you see it so you don't forget to act on it. For example, you might put it on your fridge.

Step 2 Talk about the problem.

  • If you’re going to talk to someone else who has the same problem, you will need to be tactful. Let her know that you just want to learn so you can solve it, too.

Step 3 Embrace your feelings.

  • It’s okay to feel upset, angry, worried so long as you know that being upset, angry or worried won’t help solve the problem. You will have to take action to solve the problem. Still, these emotions can help you realize you have a problem, as well as suggest its source.
  • Some ways to calm down when you're feeling upset include: focusing on your breathing, count to 10 (or higher if you need to), gently talk yourself down (tell yourself "it's going to be alright," or "take it easy."). Try going for a walk or run or listening to calming music. [10] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source

Step 4 See a counselor.

  • To find a mental health professional, try this website: https://locator.apa.org/

Finding Solutions

Step 1 Research the problem.

  • Consider talking to people who have been through something similar or are professionals in the subject related to your problem.
  • For example, if your problem is academic related, talk to your teacher about it or another student who has already done the subject or course you’re having difficulty with.
  • Understanding how problems come to be might help you face them better. Refocusing your attention on solving the problem will help decrease unproductive emotional tendencies such as guilt and anxiety, which can stymie problem solving skills and capabilities.

Step 2 Seek out an expert.

  • Make sure that when you seek out advice, it's from a licensed professional in their field, which proves they have the skills needed to help you with your particular problem.
  • There are people who might claim to be an expert. If they are lacking the right credentials, chances are they aren't.

Step 3 Look to others who solved your problem.

  • Try asking them how they coped with and solved the problem you share. You may find yourself so wrapped up in your problem that an obvious solution evades you, but it may not evade others. [12] X Research source

Step 4 Brainstorm solutions.

  • Consider the anatomy of the problem. Usually a problem is not just one problem alone - it has consequences and affects other areas of your life. Which part of the problem do you think you should address first?
  • For example, if your problem is that you never get to go on vacation, sub-problems may be that it is difficult for you to get time off of work, and it is difficult for you to save money to be able to afford a vacation.
  • You could address these sub-problems separately: You could cut back on eating out while simultaneously talking to your boss about how you are burnt out and could use a week off, and make a case that you would ultimately be more productive in the long run if allowed to recuperate.

Step 5 Evaluate your solutions.

  • Whether the solution will, in fact, solve your problem.
  • How efficient the solution is in terms of the time and other resources it will require.
  • How you might feel it you choose that solution relative to another solution.
  • What the costs and benefits of the solution are.
  • Whether this solution has worked for others in the past.

Step 6 Put your plan into action.

  • As you engage in your plan, reward yourself for your small successes so you are more likely to stick with it when the going gets tough!
  • Resist the temptation to avoid your problems if your plans don’t work. Remember not to catastrophize –just because one solution didn't solve the problem, that doesn't mean there isn't another method to solve your problem.

Expert Q&A

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Solve a Problem

  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/headshrinkers-guide-the-galaxy/201412/7-strategies-face-lifes-challenges
  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/denial
  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200903/devoted-distraction?collection=95944
  • ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-small-steps-you-can-take-today-to-improve-anxiety-symptoms/
  • ↑ http://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/ProblemSolving.pdf
  • ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/talking-through-problems
  • ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_ways_to_calm_your_mind_in_stressful_times
  • ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/finding-a-therapist-who-can-help-you-heal.htm
  • ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/therapists-spill-14-ways-to-get-through-tough-times/
  • ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/a-step-by-step-guide-to-problem-solving

About This Article

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

Read More...

Dealing with a problem in your life can feel overwhelming, but by accepting that you have a problem and finding a solution, you can manage it effectively. Accept that the problem exists, since ignoring or avoiding it will not make it go away. Research your problem so you can understand it better, which will help you come up with solutions. You could also try speaking to someone who has dealt with the same issue or contacting an expert with relevant experience. Make a step-by-step plan of how you're going to tackle your problem, which will help you break it down into manageable goals. As you achieve each step, reward yourself so you feel encouraged to keep going. For example, if your problem is that you struggle to focus on your work, take an evening to relax or watch your favorite show when you complete an important task. For tips from our co-author on how to avoid catastrophizing your problem, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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How To Solve Problems In Life [All Of Them]: The Definitive Guide

This article has everything you need to know about how to solve problems in life. The problem solving process involves the ability to logically think through a situation or issue in search for a solution(s) to solve the problem. A problem is a gap between a current condition of what is and what must be, should be, or could be.

Problems are solved effectively using a systematic approach. Using the systematic approaches will cause the increase in high levels of effectiveness to solve problems. It is important to know and remember that the problem solving process involves a set of principles with steps to follow and each principle step is affected by many factors than can influence the outcome of a situation or issue.

A problem exists when situation in life fails to meet the expectations of what a person wants in his or her life. The principles needed for increasing the wanted outcome in life, are identifying the problem, and fixing the problem with improve or new solutions. Problem solving and decision making can involve any issue or task that needs to be resolve.

In order or solutions to be more effective, emotions must not rule over logic clear thinking. It is very important that emotions do not take over the decision making process.

How To Solve Problems In Life:

The first rule of problem solving.

The first thing to do is to define the problem and make sure it is a real problem, particularly your problem and not someone else’s problem or someone else’s fault. Approaching the problem for answers using the what, where, when, why, how and who questions of the current situation.

If the problem is too big or overwhelming, step back and stay calm, and analyze small pieces of information pertaining to the problem. Manage the problem using levels of priorities pertaining to which one needs to be addressed or responded to first using common sense and learned procedures or training. Remember there is nothing new under the sun and keep a positive mind and approach that the problem can be solved and may take time.

Analyze the problem from all angles is very important in clearly defining the problem and ensuring that best solutions to be presented. Collect all the information as you can about the problem to continue to analyze the extent of the problem and do not make any early impulsive decisions for final solution. Use self-discipline and write down a list of solutions that may be used while you are brainstorming.

This process can be completed by you or with the assistance of other people using the methods earlier stated. Be creative and open to new ideas, beginnings, and plans of actions. Ask yourself what is the risk for each solution and possibility of it working? Explore all the possibilities by asking these questions and analyze the cost and resources that are involved in implementing the solutions.

What is required for you to do and others need to do. What is the time frame needed for implementation and follow up? Complete the implementation and follow up to complete the problem solving process. Make sure that you continue to maintain a record or awareness of the aspects of the problem solving process.

Get the agreement from all the people involved in the problem solving process, establish a task schedule and time frame to continue to monitor the progress for an evaluation of the outcome to see if the solution is working.

Steps for Problem Solving

1. define and identify the problem.

This first step is critical. It is essential to clearly understand the problem so that all energy will be focused in the same direction. Define the problem by writing down a concise statement which summarizes the problem, write down where you want to be after the problem has been resolved. Get as much information about the problem as possible.

SEE ALSO:  How To Boost Your Personal Productivity: The Ultimate Guide

2. Analyze the Problem

In this stage of problem solving, questions should be asked and information gathered and sifted. It is essential to spend some time researching the problem.

Questions to Ask When Analyzing the Problem:

What is the problem and how long has it existed? How serious is the problem? What are the causes of the problem? What are the effects of the problem? What are the symptoms of the problem? What methods are available for dealing with the problem? What are the limitations of those methods? How much time is needed for gathering information and needed to solve the problem? What are the challenges in achieving the goal? Can the problem be divided into smart and large parts for definition and analysis?

3. Identify Possible Solutions

Identifying possible solutions to the problem objective is to complete a list of all conceivable alternatives to the problem. Using a variety of creative techniques can produce an extensive list of possible solutions.

Viewing Problems from a Different Perspective

As a leader, you can’t be surprised by problems. The best you can do is to be prepared for them. One of the ways a leader prepares is to have the right perspective when problems occur. The questions you ask about the problem has a way of shaping the perspective you have toward the problem. What do I need to do differently to solve this problem? What is keeping me from solving this problem? What will solving this problem make possible? What kind of story do I want to tell a year from now about this problem?

Solving Problems as a Leader

Are you a leader or a follower? When faced with a difficult problem, how do you react? How you face problems is one of the critical factors that help determine how successful you will be in life. It is also one of the key qualities of a leader! Leaders solve problems – followers go to leaders to get their problems solved.

The first thing to do when faced with a problem is to know there is an answer to the problem. Do not worry about the problem and work towards the answer will keep you in control of the situation by keeping attitudes and thoughts under control. Collect all the facts about the problem and know that most problems are not as big as they appear to be.

The examination of the facts will help you find a better solution. Decide if this really a problem that needs solving? How bad is the problem? What is the worst thing could happen if the problem is ignored? If the problem does need solving, what actions are needed to solve the problem. Brainstorm all the ideas and write them down to use for solutions to solve the problems in the future.

Consider the use of research to better solve the problem, search the internet, ask questions and read books. Use leadership by being decisive and selecting a solution, and implement it. For high priority problems do not be afraid to use some a quick fix solution is needed, which can be followed by a long-term solution to fix the problem.

If the problem is too big, seek assistance from support teams. Know when to let go of problems and used systematic approaches to solve your problems. Break the problems into small steps and components to track the progress of each one at a time. Test and monitor the solutions that are implemented, and do not be frustrated by any setbacks or failures, but continue to solve problems with integrity and honesty.

Solving Problems Effectively In Marriage/Relationships

Conflict happens; it’s a normal part of any relationship. Problems themselves are not necessarily a sign that a marriage or relationship is in trouble. Dealing with problems in unhealthy ways, however, is a signal of a troubled relationship. If a couple cannot develop an effective strategy for addressing problems, the result will be a backlog of unresolved issues, leading to bitterness, resentment and the breakdown of the relationship.

Most individuals are very poor problem solvers, primarily because they dislike any form of conflict or confrontation. Successful problem solving involves the ability of two people to listen intentionally as each shares their needs and concerns and to respond to what is shared with understanding and acceptance. A trademark of all maladaptive approaches to conflict is the lack of listening and responding positively to the needs expressed.

SEE ALSO:  How To Develop Good Habits In Life [With 99% Success Rate]

Problem Solving With Teenagers

As children become teenagers, they’ll come across problems they need to sort out themselves. You won’t always be there to give your child advice, but you can help him develop skills and strategies so he can solve problems on his own. Everybody needs to solve problems every day. But we’re not born with the skills we need to do this – we have to develop them.

When solving problems, it’s good to be able to: listen and think calmly, consider options and other people’s needs find constructive solutions and, sometimes, work towards compromises. These abilities are highly valued in both social and work situations – they’re skills for life. When teenagers learn skills and strategies to sort out problems and resolve conflicts by themselves, they feel more confident and independent.

They’re also better placed to make good decisions on their own. Problems can often be solved by talking and compromising. When you’re working on a problem with your child, it’s a good idea to do it when everyone’s calm and can think clearly, your child will be more likely to want to find a solution. Try to find a time when you won’t be interrupted.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read my article about how to solve problems in life. I sincerely hope its contents have been a good help to you.

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Denise Cummins Ph.D.

How to Solve Problems Like an Expert

It's not so much what you know as how easily you can retrieve what you know..

Posted September 7, 2013

You have a problem when your current situation differs from your desired goal. You want to be rich, but your checking account balance is circling the drain. You want to date that gorgeous person, but you get tongue-tied whenever you even think about it. You are running late for work, and your car won’t start. In each case, what you want and what you have are decidedly different.

Problem solving is nothing more and nothing less searching for means to reduce the differences between your goal state and your current state. Yes, that’s right: All problem solving, at bottom, is search. When there is a clear procedure that will take you from the one to the other, we call that a well-defined problem. Making scrambled eggs is a well-defined problem. For the first, you simply follow a recipe, and voila, you’ve got breakfast.

If there is no clear procedure, we call that an ill-defined problem. Unfortunately, most of life’s important problems are ill defined. How do you make enough money to save for retirement , how do you avoid war, or how do you get that girl or guy to go out with you? These are all ill-defined problems because they don’t have clear goal states (how much is “enough” for retirement?) or they don’t have clear solution paths (how do you attract the interest of someone you find attractive?).

In 1945, the brilliant mathematician, George Pólya (1887–1985) wrote the quintessential text for solving problems, aptly titled How to Solve It. Here is how he summarized the problem-solving process.

1. First, make sure you understand the problem. You do this by developing a representation of the essential aspects of the problem. You do that by searching your knowledge base for information that seems to you to be solution-relevant.

2. After understanding, then make a plan for solving the problem. This will also usually involve searching one’s knowledge base for solutions that are appropriate for the problem as represented.

3. Carry out the plan by executing your solutions.

4. Look back on your work and ask “how could it be better?”

That is how it should be done. But most people make one huge mistake that derails the entire process, making it far less likely that they will succeed. What is that mistake?

They skip the first step.

Regardless of the domain, inexperienced problem-solvers tend to jump right to the solution stage of problem solving, with typically disastrous consequences. They often use a trial-and-error strategy in which the first solution that comes to mind is put into play. Because they didn’t take the time to fully understand the problem, their solution attempts fail when foreseeable glitches arise.

In contrast, experts tend to spend more time developing a full understanding of the problem, comparing what they currently know about the problem with what they need to know in order to get a complete picture of the situation. Because they spend more time in the problem representation stage, they are more likely to derive successful solutions, and to spend less time overall in generating a successful solution.

Here are three tips for executing step one like an expert.

1. Organize knowledge correctly. Often, novices have all the knowledge they need to solve the problem at hand. They just can’t get to it because their knowledge is organized in ways that make it difficult to see the connection between the current problem and what they already know.

Experts organize their knowledge in problem schemas that include relevant information about a type of problem and the procedures for solving problems of that type. This means that when experts think about problems, relevant information is automatically activated in memory , along with relevant solution procedures. In contrast, when novices think about a problem, their knowledge is too general and too scattered throughout memory, making problem-solving a tedious trial-and-error search. For example, a novice salesperson will focus on the general goal of “make the sale”, and will apply sales techniques in willy-nilly or fixed fashion to reach that goal. An experienced salesperson will focus on the specific goal of understanding what the customer needs and wants, and in developing a trust relationship with the customer. As a result, the experienced salesperson spends less time “working” the customer or showing them things in which they have no interest.

how solve problems in life

2. Ask the right questions. If you’ve ever done a Google search, you know that the quality of the search results depends entirely on the quality of the keywords you use. Garbage in, garbage out. This in a nutshell, is the key to developing a strong understanding of a problem—asking the right questions.

Experts are more likely to ask the right questions because their domain-specific knowledge is organized more efficiently. Continuing with the previous example, an expert salesperson’s schema is organized around understanding customer wants and needs. As a result, he or she will spend more time asking specific questions about those needs and wants, and then tailoring subsequent choices to match the answers given. Sometimes the customer isn’t aware that there are product features that may be attractive to them. For example, they may focus on price yet be unaware that a higher priced item carries a better warranty. Because the salesperson has taken the time to impress upon the customer that their needs and wants matter, a relationship of trust is established that makes it easier for the salesperson to introduce these relevant features without putting the customer off. In contrast, novice salespeople will often deluge the customer with more product features than they can possibly remember and process, or will try hard-sell techniques that create an atmosphere of distrust .

3. Work forward from known to unknown. Because of the way expert knowledge is organized, experts solve problems by working forward from the information given (or information obtained) to arrive at a viable solution. Novices, on the other hand, tend to work backwards because they are focused more at arriving at a quick solution that at ensuring that they fully understand the problem. As a result, the typically have incomplete problem-solving schemas that are full of irrelevant information. This slows down the problem-solving process, and makes it less likely that a viable solution will be reached—or remembered!

For three more tips on how to be a better problem solver, see this article Dr. Art Markman.

References: Pólya, George (1957). How to Solve It. Garden City, NY: Doubleday.

Dr. Denise Cummins is a Fellow of the Association for Psychological Science, and the author of Good Thinking: Seven Powerful Ideas That Influence the Way We Think (2012, Cambridge University Press).

Denise Cummins Ph.D.

Denise Dellarosa Cummins, Ph.D. , is the author of Good Thinking, The Historical Foundations of Cognitive Science , and Evolution of Mind.

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How to Deal With Different Problems in Life

Last Updated: April 8, 2021 References

This article was co-authored by Leah Morris . Leah Morris is a Life and Relationship Transition coach and the owner of Life Remade, a holistic personal coaching service. With over three years as a professional coach, she specializes in guiding people as they move through both short-term and long-term life transitions. Leah holds a BA in Organizational Communication from California State University, Chico and is a certified Transformational Life Coach through the Southwest Institute for Healing Arts. There are 18 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 117,696 times.

Money, relationships, family, health, school, careers. Problems can and will pop up in nearly every area of life. The longer you live, the more obstacles you must overcome. Learning to handle life's problems effectively is an essential skill that can have a drastic effect on your health and happiness. Building solid problem-solving strategies and coping skills can help you manage when life throws its punches.

Developing Problem-Solving Skills

Step 1 Define the problem.

  • For example, you are short on money for the bills. Find out the source of the problem. Why are you short this month? It could be you need to find a better paying job to account for a rise in expenses, pick up more hours at work, or stop spending needlessly on entertainment.

Step 2 Decide on your objective.

  • For example, if you are short on money, your objective would be to make extra money or increase your income in some way.

Step 3 Narrow it down.

  • For example, if you are hoping to increase the income in your household, you can pare this goal down to saving $100 first. Then, your goal might be to double that amount, and so forth. This is much more feasible than setting a goal to just save $500 right off the bat.

Step 4 Examine all the variables.

  • The variables to increase your income could be working more hours, searching for a better paying job, or decreasing other expenses to free up more income.

Step 5 Implement the solution that best meets your objective.

  • Perhaps, you cannot find a new job or increase your work hours right now. Therefore, the only option available to you would be finding ways to cut back on other expenses.

Step 6 Check the results.

Stocking Your Coping Toolbox

Step 1 Understand the downsides of chronic stress.

  • Weight gain or loss
  • Difficulty breathing
  • Sleep problems
  • Changes in appetite

Step 2 Phone a friend.

  • A hobby can be anything that you enjoy doing. Try reading, writing, sports, hiking, canoeing, skating, painting, gardening, etc. There are endless possibilities for finding something you like to do and doing it regularly.

Step 4 Unwind each night.

  • Do something relaxing like stretching, listening to soothing music, taking a long, hot bath, or getting a massage. [11] X Research source

Step 5 Exercise.

  • Try progressive muscle by sitting quietly and comfortably in a chair or on a cushion. Move slowly through each muscle group in your body, tensing and releasing the different muscles. Start with your toes. Tense them for 5 seconds and take notice of how this feels. Next, release the tension and simply remain in the relaxed state for about 30 seconds before moving on to a new muscle group.

Coping with Interpersonal Issues

Step 1 Strive for more empathy.

  • Aim to listen for understanding rather than responding. You probably spend most of your time listening thinking up what you are going to say next. Take the time to really hear what the other person is saying in your daily interactions. This leaves less room for misunderstandings.
  • Purposely go out of your way to shatter stereotypes. Do you have an unsupported opinion about a certain individual or group? Make an effort to meet, talk to, and get to know this individual(s) and see if your opinion changes.
  • Learn more about the world by reading, watching films or documentaries, and visiting museums that educate you about people from different walks of life.

Step 2 Use

  • An "I" statement starts by expressing a feeling, explaining the why behind the feeling, and offering a practical solution. An "I" statement might include the following: "I feel unappreciated when you drop tasks on me at the last minute. It would be great if you could try to give me advanced notice next time."

Step 3 Stop trying to change others.

  • Constantly judging, nagging, or shaming others for their wrongness while emphasizing your rightness doesn't do anyone any good. [18] X Research source Remember, "a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still". Trying to change others only frustrates you (and them).
  • Focus on working on your own faults instead of expending so much energy on others. [19] X Research source

Step 4 Learn when and how to apologize.

  • Apologies express remorse, admit responsibility, make amends, and strive to prevent the same mistake from happening in the future.
  • An example of an apology could be "I apologize for not being respectful of your free time. I will do the work myself this time, and next time I will be sure to give you a heads up to check that you are available."

Having a Healthy Outlook

Step 1 Start viewing problems as opportunities.

  • Grab a sheet of paper and list all of the accomplishments, values, and positive qualities about yourself you can think of. Also, call a close friend or family member who knows you well. Ask this person to help you identify your strengths.
  • If you have trouble figuring out your strengths, take a free online assessment like the VIA Character Strengths Assessment. [22] X Research source
  • After you have identified your strengths, learn to channel them effectively in your life. Review each strengths and figure out ways that you already use this strength in your life. Then, brainstorm additional ways you can use this strength to your advantage. [23] X Research source

Step 3 Cultivate gratitude.

  • Start a gratitude journal by writing out a few things that went well during each day.
  • Say "thank you" more.
  • Write gratitude letters to your family, friends, and acquaintances who have been a help to you in some way.
  • Transform your language to use these words more "gifts", "fortunate", "blessings", and "abundance".

Expert Q&A

Leah Morris

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  • ↑ http://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/sk/problem-solving-skills.htm
  • ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-management/art-20044502
  • ↑ http://asq.org/learn-about-quality/problem-solving/overview/overview.html
  • ↑ http://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/prevention-wellness/emotional-wellbeing/mental-health/stress-how-to-cope-better-with-lifes-challenges.html
  • ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/social-support/art-20044445?pg=2
  • ↑ http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/conditions/stress-coping-everyday-problems
  • ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
  • ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/12-ways-to-shut-off-your-brain-before-bedtime/
  • ↑ http://www.stress.org.uk/exercise.aspx
  • ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/relaxation-technique/art-20045368?pg=2
  • ↑ http://time.com/3562863/5-ways-to-be-more-empathetic/
  • ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1
  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-wise-brain/201410/accept-them-they-are
  • ↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/11/14/you-can-only-change-yourself/
  • ↑ https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/how-to-apologize.htm
  • ↑ http://www.viacharacter.org/www
  • ↑ http://www.actionforhappiness.org/take-action/find-your-strengths-and-focus-on-using-them
  • ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/ten_ways_to_become_more_grateful1/

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how solve problems in life

The 10 Most Common Life Problems and How to Deal with Them

The 10 Most Common Life Problems and How to Deal with Them

This is life; you face problems every day no matter how perfect you think you and your life are. Problems are there and they aren’t going anywhere unless you face them and solve them. Acknowledging your problems, solving them, and getting on with your life is better than making it all a big deal. Your problems shouldn’t become the source of sorrow, hurt, and grief for you.

While getting on with our life, we may encounter plenty of barriers and issues that might distract us from our real path. Sometimes we don’t have our full potential to deal with the issues but if we know what we are dealing with, we can do better. Once you have a clear perspective of what problems you have in your life, you can deal with them in a better way. So getting  Nebula psychic advice you can change your life for the better and avoid problems in the future.

Most common problems in life

Here are some of the most common problems that each of us is bound to face no matter where we are headed or what we are doing. Let’s take a look at those issues.

1. Health Crisis

There comes a time in your life when you are not healthy. It might be something minor or something big and intense. Either way, it is common to have health issues because as our body works around the clock, it does fall once in a while to get the whole system working once again. The thing about health crisis is if you don’t deal with it at the right time, it might get worse resulting in many other problems. So, if you have any health issue going on, get to it and make yourself healthy once again instead of pretending it doesn’t exist.

2. Workplace Issues

Of course, everyone gets to work when the time and opportunity are there. But, this is the time when you come to realise if you can manage teamwork and professional relationships or not. The workplace is the place where you are supposed to fulfil your duties for which you have been hired. However, it is possible to face certain issues that you might not be ready for. You can get surprised and frustrated at the start because of these issues but the best thing to do is to face those issues and resolve them right away. It is the wisest thing instead of leaving the workplace.

3. Emptiness

Now and then, your life becomes dull, unproductive, and you feel like there is nothing you can change. This leads to the emptiness which doesn’t seem like a big issue but it has a big impact on your life. Though career-oriented people don’t care about their wellness and the adventurous part of life deeply it is affecting them and it affects their career also. If you want to deal with this boredom and emptiness, break out of your routine and do something unusual to bring out the light in you.

4. Friendship Issues

We need friends in our life to get together, share sorrows and happiness, and just get along with life. Friends are the brightest part of life but sometimes this relationship ends up giving you a lot of trouble. There is backstabbing, jealousy, betrayal, and a lot of similar things that ruin a friendship and thus it affects the whole life. The best solution to this is to never open up with friends at first. Know who you are dealing with and then move forward with the friendships. Limit your interactions with friends who are toxic and unhealthy for you.

When you are moving forward, achieving your goals, moving on with your career, you are bound to face failures but it doesn’t mean that you can’t move forward. Failures are meant to teach you a lot of things and make you a better person for the future. Learn to deal with the failure and you will have the ability to deal with every barrier that might come across.

6. Financial Crisis

This world and life are uncertain, and the financial crisis can come at every stage of life. No matter how much you are ready for the bad times, the financial crisis can catch you off-guard. You can get frustrated and all stressed out because of the crisis that might have hit you. You might have lost your job, lost your investment, or have a downfall in the business world. The best way to deal with this is to accept that it has happened. Once you accept it, you can deal with it. Identify where things have gone wrong and from where can you start to get back on your feet.

7. Career Pressure

When you are on the path to being successful, you will face work-related issues. Along with those issues, you might have the difficulty in getting on with your career. Thousands of issues can arise such as not getting the promotion you worked so hard for, not getting the job you applied so wishfully for, and so on. To deal with these issues, identify the issues that might be within you such as personal issues or attitudinal problems. Work on yourself and get back on your feet and try again.

8. Unfair Treatment

This world is full of people who are unjust and unfair when they get in power. You are lucky if you haven’t faced anything like that, but you are bound to face such people when you step outside. This unfair treatment shouldn’t be the cause of your issues or breakdown. So, deal with this as it comes and doesn’t take it seriously. If you are good, you will get the success you deserve.

9. Inner Peace

You can be successful in life, doing things you love but still, there is something that doesn’t feel like you. The inner peace you seek might not be there for you yet and it stresses you out. It happens to everyone once in a while and it is no big deal. You just have to find a way to feel different and to achieve that inner peace you are looking for.

10. Mental Health Issues

This doesn’t mean serious disorders and diseases. These are the minor issues that we usually ignore and do not deal with because we think they don’t make sense. We are too busy with improving our lives that we forget that mental stress and anxiety are serious issues and you should seek help as soon as possible.

Look around your life and see if you are having these problems in your life. Every once in a while, people face these problems but if you can identify the issues at the time, you can deal with them in a better way.

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10 Ways How to Solve Problems in Life: Effective Solutions for Any Situation

Life is full of challenges. We all face difficult situations at some point, and it can be tough to know how to handle and solve the problems in life. It’s essential to have effective solutions for solving problems in life so that you can get past these challenges and move on with your life. In this blog post, we will discuss 10 ways how to solve problems effectively. These solutions will help you overcome any obstacle that comes your way!

Problem-solving is an essential life skill that everyone should learn. It’s especially important to know how to solve problems effectively so that you can get through difficult challenges. There are many different ways how to solve problems in life, and it can be helpful to try out different techniques until you find one that works for you. Here is a quick list of the 10 ways how to solve problems effectively.

– Break the problem down

– Talk to someone who can help

– Get organized

– Create a plan of action

– Take small steps

– Be persistent

– Stay positive

– Reward yourself

– Learn from your mistakes

– Keep trying

If you’re facing a difficult situation, don’t despair. These solutions for how to solve problems in life will help you overcome any obstacle! Remember to stay positive and keep trying, even if it feels like the situation is impossible to solve. With a little effort and perseverance, you’ll be able to find a successful solution.

Now let’s go into detail on each of the ways how to solve problems effectively.

1. Break the problem down:

One of the best ways how to solve problems in life is by breaking the problem down into smaller pieces. This will make the problem seem less daunting and will help you focus on finding a solution. Once you’ve broken the problem down, you can start brainstorming possible solutions.

– Write down the problem or challenge that you’re facing.

– Break the problem down into smaller pieces.

– Identify the root cause of the problem.

– Brainstorm possible solutions

2. Talk to someone who can help:

If you’re not sure how to solve a problem, talking to someone who has experience with similar challenges can be very helpful. They may be able to give you some insights or ideas that you hadn’t considered before.

– Talk to a friend or family member about the problem.

– Ask for advice from someone who has experience with similar challenges.

– Talk to a professional for help.

3. Get organized:

When you’re trying to solve a problem, it’s important to be organized. This will help you stay on track and avoid getting overwhelmed . Make sure to write down what the problem is and what your goals are. Then, create a list of possible solutions.

– Write down the problem and your goals.

– Create a list of possible solutions.

– Prioritize the solutions that you want to try.

– Start with the easiest solution and work your way up.

4. Create a plan of action:

Once you’ve organized your thoughts, it’s time to create a plan of action. This will help you put your solution into practice and make sure that you’re taking the right steps. Be realistic with your plan and make sure that you can stick to it.

– Write down your plan of action.

– Make sure that your plan is realistic.

– Set deadlines for each step of the plan.

– Hold yourself accountable to your plan.

5. Take small steps:

When you’re trying to solve a problem, it’s important to take things slowly. Breaking the problem down into smaller pieces will make it feel less overwhelming and more manageable. Try to focus on one task at a time and take small steps towards solving the problem. This will help you stay organized and motivated, and it will eventually lead to a successful solution.

– Break the problem down into smaller pieces

– Focus on one task at a time

6. Be persistent:

It’s important to be persistent when you’re trying to solve a problem. If you give up too easily, you’ll never find a solution. Keep trying different techniques and strategies until you find one that works. Don’t give up, even if it seems like the situation is hopeless. With a little persistence, you’ll eventually find a way to overcome the challenge.

– Try different techniques

– Don’t give up

7. Stay positive:

It’s essential to stay positive when you’re trying to solve a problem. Negative thinking will only make the situation feel worse and it will hinder your ability to find a successful solution. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of the situation and believe that you will find a way to solve the problem. This positive attitude will help you stay motivated and it will increase your chances of success.

– Focus on the positive aspects of the situation

– Believe in yourself

8. Reward yourself:

When you finally solve a problem, it’s important to reward yourself for your hard work. This will help you stay motivated and it will give you a sense of accomplishment. Treat yourself to something special, such as your favorite food or a new book. This will help you stay positive and it will remind you of your success when you face future challenges.

– Celebrate your success!

– Reward yourself with something special.

– Take some time to relax and enjoy your accomplishment.

9. Learn from your mistakes:

It’s essential to learn from your mistakes so that you can avoid them in the future. When you make a mistake, take a step back and analyze what went wrong. This will help you learn from your mistakes and it will prevent you from making the same mistake again.

– Take some time to reflect on your mistake.

– Identify what went wrong and how you can avoid it in the future.

– Write down your learnings so that you can refer to them later.

10. Keep trying:

Even if you don’t find a successful solution right away, it’s important to keep trying. If you give up too easily, you’ll never find a way to solve the problem. Keep exploring different techniques and strategies until you find one that works. With a little effort, you’ll eventually find a way to overcome the challenge.

– Don’t give up!

– Keep exploring different techniques.

– Try different strategies until you find one that works.

– Be persistent and keep trying.

What’s the takeaway?

These are just a few of the many different ways how to solve problems in life. Experiment with different techniques and find one that works best for you. Remember to stay positive and don’t give up, even when the challenge seems insurmountable. With a little effort, you’ll eventually find a way to overcome any obstacle.

Did you find this article helpful? Share your thoughts in the comments below! And be sure to check out our other articles on problem-solving for more tips and advice. Thanks for reading!

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15 Most Common Life Problems — And How To Solve Every Single One Of Them

Problems are forever and we can't avoid them — but we can solve them..

By Tim Denning — Last updated on May 10, 2023

stressed out man at a desk

All of our problems are the same. Problems are forever and we can’t avoid them.

You’ll wake up tomorrow and have problems with breakfast. You’ll jump on the train and read a problem in your email inbox. You’ll get to the office and get a problem smack bang in your pretty face!

But the typical problems we face can be solved .

RELATED: Why We *Need* Something To Look Forward To, According To Science

Here are the 15 most common problems in life and how to solve each one:

1. you didn’t reach your goal..

Just because you set a goal doesn’t mean you’re going to get it. Many of life’s toughest goals take lots of attempts. Some of the goals I missed are:

  • Dream careers
  • Girls I wanted to date
  • Saving enough money to build a school in Laos
  • Reaching 100k followers on LinkedIn

People who talk about success and personal development also don’t reach their goals. The best feeling about reaching a goal is the journey it took to get there. If all your goals were easy, then you’d feel nothing at the end of the process.

Solution: Take the goal you didn’t achieve and try a different approach.

Doing the same thing over and over to achieve your goal is the definition of insanity. Your heroes miss their goals too. What makes them stand out is that they don’t give up. The fun of goal-setting is knowing that you’ll fail.

2. Someone criticized you.

If you want to make a dent in this world, then the critics will come out of the closet. The bigger your aspirations are, the more you’ll be criticized. The number of critics you have is in direct proportion to your success.

I had an entire blog post written about me saying how stupid I was. It felt like crap on day one. By day seven I’d made peace with the criticism and kept writing.

Solution: You can’t please everybody that you meet in life. When you speak on a stage, for example, 25% of people will like you, 25% won’t know who you are and 50% of people will think you’re a jerk even though you’ve probably done nothing wrong.

Critics are not all bad. You can learn things about yourself from them too. The solution is to learn from criticism, not be afraid of it.

3. Your career got messed up.

Whether you’re an entrepreneur or a happy-go-lucky office worker, your career is going to get messed up at some point.

The definition of business is this: Moving from one problem to another and making money in the meantime to fuel your mission. Business is really just problem-solving.

  • Redundancy could right-hook you in the face.
  • The business you founded could go backward and even bankrupt.
  • Your career skills could become outdated.
  • You could get fired for making a mistake.

Your career is going to get messed up. Things you can never predict in your career are going to happen.

Solution: See career challenges for what they are: an opportunity to try something different.

If your career never got messed up, then you’d probably stay in your comfort zone for your entire life and never try something different. The solution is to see your career getting messed up as a chance to grow.

Getting made redundant could be the one reality that makes you want to create your own startup. Having a customer leave could decrease your workload and create space for clients who won’t drain your time and make you no money.

RELATED: People With These 7 Personality Traits Have What It Takes To Survive (Pretty Much) Anything

4. You have financial troubles.

That crazy little thing called money will let you down at some point. I’ve personally been rich and poor multiple times.

Upon reflection, the time I’ve been the happiest has been when I’ve had the least amount of money. Countless studies have shown that money isn’t what your life’s about . As humans, we seek meaning, love, and our own version of happiness. Money won’t give you any of those human needs.

That doesn’t mean money doesn’t matter; it just means that it shouldn’t be your main focus or something you obsess over.

Solution: The solution to financial problems is to see them as a gift and choose a meaning for your life instead.

Lack of money is a gift. When you don’t have money, you become resourceful and creative at the same time. Lack of money helps you decide on what matters and what doesn’t.

If things get really bad, then you’ll likely prioritize feeding your family over buying another useless car that will never make you happy. You’ll take joy in the simple things in life.

5. You’re unhealthy.

Our health has become a real problem. We wonder why we feel tired, sick, and get headaches. We’ll all experience health challenges at some point in our life. How many health challenges we experience in our younger years will come down to food and exercise.

The strategies for being healthy haven’t changed. There’s no mystery around being healthy, it’s just that we’ve become lazy. Convenience powered by apps has overtaken our ability to do basic tasks and not binge-watch Netflix every night.

Solution: Take ownership.

Quit feeling sick and do something about it. Have some blood tests. Change your diet to be more plant-based. Drink more water . Get to the gym three times a week for 30 minutes. Stand up from your desk every now and then so you’re not sitting for the whole day and messing your spine/neck up.

Whatever you do, take ownership of your health and quit being ignorant.

6. A relationship ended.

There’s less than 1% of people who met "The One," lived happily ever after, and never experienced a breakup. Even that 1% will have that relationship end at some point when either side passes away.

For the majority of us who don’t strike gold the first time around, we’re going to have to deal with breakups and the trials and tribulations of romance.

  • We’ll probably find ourselves in a toxic relationship for too long.
  • We’ll probably get cheated on at least once.
  • We’ll probably have our hearts smashed into a million pieces when we discover that someone ‘No longer loves us anymore.’

These are the realities of the human condition and our need to reproduce and keep our species alive.

Solution: Finding love is about understanding what love is not. You need relationships to end to find out what love really is.

All breakups suck in the beginning until you grow and move on. Then, the solution to this problem is to find yourself.

Once you find yourself, the heart will be ready for love again. How you move forward from there is up to you. You can try the good old fashion nightclub scene. You could go to Meetups. Or, you could start swiping left and right on a few dating apps.

Have your heart broken — just don’t let it stay that way.

7. You made yourself look like a jerk.

This one is an ugly truth for me. I’ve embarrassed myself more times than I’ve had protein and veggies for dinner. Here are a few just for laughs (and your entertainment):

  • There was the time I tried to pretend I could be the Wolf of Wall Street and got laughed out of the interview due to not being able to explain derivatives.
  • There was the time I thought this girl liked me and tried to hug her while we were walking only to have her hate my guts.
  • There was the time I went out with friends and threw up on my friend’s couch after having a single shot of tequila.
  • There was the time I did my first public speaking gig and messed up a speech about my own life which I’d rehearsed over 100 times.

We could talk for days about how I’ve embarrassed myself over the years. We could even compare epic fails to see whose are worse. This is not a game though. We’re all going to go into situations with the best of intentions or all the experience in the world and still screw up.

Solution: Embarrassing yourself is a sign of courage. Courage is what is found in leaders and those who are doers.

Embarrassing yourself is an acceptance that you might fail in the short term. Those who fail in the short term will eventually win in the long term with practice.

The opposite of embarrassing yourself is perfection. That’s a life where you think too highly of yourself and you spend your entire day trying to impress everybody to eventually impress nobody. Making an idiot of yourself is perfectly fine. What’s not fine is being perfect.

RELATED: How To Keep A Positive Attitude In A Negative World

8. Someone messed your stuff up.

Car, home, or insert other material possession that doesn’t matter — none of these material things that got messed up are joining you in the afterlife. You can’t bury the Bentley with you so you can drive around with your great, great, great grandpa and do burnouts in the afterlife.

The stuff that is going to get messed up doesn’t matter.

Solution: What matters is that you don’t get messed up. What matters is that you take care of yourself so you can take care of others.

Maybe when your junk gets messed up, you’ll realize that you didn’t need it in the first place.

9. You feel like your life has no meaning.

These moments where nothing makes sense are where you get to explore. We’re not born with a meaning for our life. Meaning comes from learning who we are and growing as a person. The meaning for your life when you’re 19 will probably change from when you’re 51 and have three grown-up kids.

The quickest way to destroy your life is to believe that life has no meaning. A lack of meaning leads to depression, carelessness, drug-taking, and even crime at an extreme level.

Solution: If you feel like your life has no meaning, then it’s time to experiment.

Standing still is not how you find the answer. Being intensely focused on one’s self only leads to more suffering. A short-term solution to this problem is to experiment with helping those who have nothing. Spend time with people who’d kill to be in your position and get some perspective.

I’ve found in my life that the greatest meaning for your life is normally tied to finding something you’d be happy to do for free that helps others.

10. You feel like you can’t go on.

We’ve all had those days. Those deep and sometimes dark thoughts can lead to a place you’ve never visited. Some failures in life hurt more than others. Some failures can’t be solved through a listicle post such as this one with a dose of inspiration.

If you truly feel like you can’t go on, there’s another way.

Solution: Seek real help.

These dark thoughts must be treated. and sometimes the best medicine is to seek professional help through counseling, or for an extreme case, by calling Lifeline .

While I’ve never had suicidal thoughts, personally, I have dealt with mental illness. There is a way to come out the other side, but you have to put aside your pride and seek help. Please don’t become another victim of suicide by doing nothing.

11. Every day feels the same.

You wake up. You eat. You go to work. You eat. You come home. You eat. You go to bed.

Life can feel the same if you do nothing. It’s up to you to create variety and shape your habits into something more than a fixed schedule that makes you feel bored. Days feel the same when there’s no purpose behind anything you’re doing.

Solution: You must find joy in the repetition.

You do that by taking those reps and making them mean something. Add some variety by breaking your comfort zone. Set a goal to do something wild during your day every so often.

  • Travel to another country
  • Talk to someone new
  • Try learning a new skill

Even after trying something new, you have to get used to some level of repetition. Let that repetition become habits that serve something which can help others.

12. Your friends are screwing your life up.

Dump them. Divorce them. Delete their number.

Every relationship you have in your life is a choice. The people around us often hold us back . They fill our minds with limiting beliefs, stories, and goals that give us no sense of meaning.

Friends can kill our dreams or make us believe something we never thought was possible.

Solution: Everyone deserves a second chance. Start by telling your toxic friends how you feel.

Give them a chance to change with the new you. If they refuse, take a break from them for a while. Ask yourself whether you want them in your life long-term.

"Fitting in" is what we’re taught to do. What I’d advise you to do is be you instead, and that will attract the right people into your life.

RELATED: How To Stop Living Your Life Based On Your Fears

13. You feel stressed.

About 77% of people in the United States alone experience regular stress.

I recently learned about the effects of stress . I had a cortisol test and the doctor found the levels to be twice the normal range. This stress led to brain fog, tiredness, and a lack of mental clarity.

Stress is also caused by what you let into your life. Having options can be a bad thing.

Solution: We don’t need more; we need less to destress:

  • Declutter your home and office.
  • Say no to more meetings.
  • Say yes to invites from people that make you feel like saying “Hell yes!”
  • Buy less material things.
  • Have fewer people in your life.
  • Listen to one podcast instead of many.
  • Read fewer books instead of everyone that’s recommended on a podcast.
  • Have fewer recurring subscriptions.
  • Invest and save more money so you can stress less about unexpected bills.
  • Take regular breaks (quarterly has worked for me).

14. A fear is standing in your way.

There are so many common fears — fear of spiders, flying, public speaking, dying, career change, heights, and maybe even a fear of expressing yourself.

Fear is a concept of the mind. Nothing is scary or not scary. Our mind makes that choice for us and provides meaning to everything.​ Fear can be overcome and that’s why we love stories of battling with fear. I’ve famously spoken about creating fear lists and then knocking them off one at a time.

Solution: Smash the fear into tiny little pieces.

Don’t avoid it. Don’t let it stand in your way any longer. Make a decision to overcome each fear you have and you’ll be unstoppable by the end.

Don’t let nerves trick you into thinking you’re fearful. We all get nerves, but we can still keep moving forward with nerves — I’ve even learned to use nerves to my advantage by using them as an extra energy source.

Nerves tell me I’m on the right track. I’ve overcome my fear of public speaking and my fear of flying — my fear of spiders remains, but I’m working on that one. Real fear can be overcome through deliberate practice.

15. You're dealing with the concept of death.

Last but not least, the old chestnut of death. Death is the one life problem we all have in common and can’t solve. Sorry for the bad news. Death is going to take us eventually and it will take people you love through your life too.

Solution: The solution to dealing with death is not to overcome it but to accept it.

Death can be our greatest motivator if we let it. Once you understand what death means in all of its darkness, you’ll understand life. You’ll see death not as a problem but as a fact. That fact will change the way you see everything going forward.

For me, it took several near-death experiences (almost being murdered and a cancer scare) to see death for what it is. Death is not an easy pill to swallow. No post like this is going to give you all the answers you’re probably wanting to know.

The only way I see of dealing with the reality of death is to go out there and live the best damn life you can, while you can! Use your life to do something that gives you meaning and then you’ll no longer see death as a problem when it comes upon you.

RELATED: 11 Little Habits Of The Strongest, Most Resilient People

Tim Denning is a writer for Business Insider and CNBC whose work focuses on personal development and entrepreneurship.

This article was originally published at Medium . Reprinted with permission from the author.

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There are 4 main types of life and work problems we face every day. Here's how to solve each one

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When it comes to solving problems and making tough decisions , people love plans (especially their own plans), so they make a lot of them. And because they want the perfect plan, they demand more data to help them.

Inevitably, though, this takes longer and longer, and instead of the goal being to reach a decision, the process of making the decision becomes the goal.

There may be studies, hearings and debates, but nothing actually gets done. This can go on for quite a while, depending on the nature of the decision ... all because everyone wants the perfect plan.

The 'perfect plan' doesn't exist

More often than not, it's impossible to know the results of a dynamic system in advance. So any action is better than no action; it doesn't matter what you do, it just matters that you do, in order to learn and move forward.

Smart leaders know that in order to solve any major problem, the goal should be to get quick feedback on whether that decision was a good one or not. If it wasn't, then they know to pivot and seek a different path.

Each decision informs the next. The path emerges from the doing.

The 4 types of problems we encounter daily

In 1999, while working at IBM, a guy named Dave Snowden came up with a way of looking at problems to help people know what kind of problem they are facing, and what kind of solution they should be looking for.

He calls it the Cynefin framework — cynefin is a Welsh word that means "habitat" — because you need to know where you stand.

1. The simple problem

The first type of problem in Snowden's framework is simple and obvious . It has already been solved, and there actually is a best practice that works all the time.

Once you can determine that a problem is simple, you can apply a known recipe from your bag of tricks. If you're playing poker, never draw to an inside straight. A bank shouldn't make loans to people with X level of debt load.

With simple problems, the relationship between cause and effect is not only clear but obvious.

2. The complicated problem

This is the kind of problem where you have a known unknown. Take a giant oil company, for example: When geologists run a seismic survey to learn where they could drill for oil, they know they don't know the answer, but they know how to find it.

This is the domain of the expert. Once you have ascertained that the problem is solvable, you can work out a solution, even if it turns out to be tricky. If you're knowledgeable enough, you can figure out cause and effect.

I always think of this when I bring my car into the shop. It's making a weird noise and I'm worried. I know I don't know how to address this problem, but I know that my mechanic knows, or can figure it out.

3. The complex problem

The third type of problem is complex , where you can only figure out afterward why what happened happened. Here you have to take some sort of action to see what happens before you act again.

Most of us wrestle with complex problems. All the time. The answers aren't known, and all the forces aren't known. But we have to do something. And what happens will surprise us.

Let's examine the story of Twitch, a web service that allows people to stream themselves playing a video game so that other people can watch them do it. This isn't an obvious product except in retrospect. But Twitch is an incredible success story. Amazon acquired it for $970 million in 2014 .

This company's first product idea? A calendar that would integrate with Gmail. Of course, then Google came out with Google Calendar. So the company decided to go into live-streaming.

One of the founders would stream his entire life, 24/7. Camera on head and a big backpack with a computer — constantly live. They built an incredibly fast live-streaming service that a lot of people could use at the same time. But as it turns out, no one really wanted to watch that live-stream.

So they opened the idea up. Maybe people wanted to live-stream themselves? It really wasn't working in the marketplace, and they were running out of cash. Then, they noticed that a lot of people were watching live-streams of people playing video games. Weird.

But they went with that, and it turns out there is an avid audience of fans and recreational gamers who want to watch the top players play. People can make a small fortune just playing video games and streaming it for others to watch.

...any action is better than no action; it doesn't matter what you do, it just matters that you do, in order to learn and move forward. J.J. Sutherland CEO, Scrum Inc.

That's an extreme example of a solution to a need that no one knew existed. But the problems we're facing today in business, politics and society are tough ones. Often we simply do not know the solution. And sometimes we don't know how to even approach the solution.

So what you need to do is try something and then see what happens. Take the results of that and tweak what you're doing. Then try again. Tweak again. And let the solution emerge. That's all it is — a series of small experiments in short periods of time to find a solution to a complex problem.

4. The chaotic problem

The final type of problem in the Cynefin framework is chaotic. This is essentially a crisis.

Let's say there's a tsunami, or an oil rig blows up, or an uprising turns into a revolution, or there's a stock market crash. The first thing to do is to take action quickly, and begin to take steps to encapsulate the problem, to define its limits, to bring it out of the chaotic and into the realm of the merely complex.

One example I use to describe a chaotic problem is a riot. One night during the Arab Spring, I was in the middle of a crowd that decided to storm the parliament building. This crowd of tens of thousands lurched as one toward the parliament gates.

Here speed matters. Delaying the decision will only worsen the problem. J.J. Sutherland CEO, Scrum Inc.

Then screams broke out from one side and the whole crowd got chaotic. Everyone was running around unsure of what to do, and they turned from individuals into a mob. I was standing in the middle of all this with a young American student I'd hired because she spoke Arabic. I told her — and I'll tell you — exactly what to do in a riot.

First, don't panic. I can't emphasize how important that is. Blind fear is what gets people trampled and killed. Second, find something hard that can't easily be knocked over, like a lamppost. It's bizarre — the crowd will part around you like a river around a stone.

What you've done is pulled the chaotic into the complex. Take a minute. Breathe. Figure out what the escape routes are. You have that freedom now. You can't do anything when you're just another body being flung about, but if you can get out of the noise and fear, you can start to come up with a plan.

Here speed matters. Delaying the decision will only worsen the problem. By rapidly iterating — trying something, seeing the response, trying again — you can ultimately succeed in bringing the crisis under control.

This trial-and-error approach can feel terrifying in the moment. But it's also an opportunity. New ways of doing things will emerge as people try to figure out how to work in an environment that didn't exist the day before.

J.J. Sutherland is the CEO of Scrum Inc. , a consulting and training firm, author of " The Scrum Fieldbook" and co-author of the best-selling book "Scrum: The Art of Doing Twice the Work in Half the Time." Previously, he was an award-winning correspondent and producer for NPR. Follow J.J. on LinkedIn .

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*This is an adapted excerpt from "The Scrum Fieldbook," by J.J. Sutherland. Copyright © 2019 by J.J. Sutherland. Excerpted by permission of Currency. All rights reserved.

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Why Kevin O'Leary expects all of his employees to work on vacation

how solve problems in life

ROCK thru real life challenges

How to solve life problems: 10 real-life examples.

  • By Lee Havenga |
  • April 8, 2021

how solve problems in life

A friend of mine, who has been following ROCK thru since the beginning, recently asked me how ROCK thru can really be applied to everyday life. She understood each of the four principles, R espect, O wnership, C onnection, and K indness, and they sounded great in theory. But, she wanted to know how to solve life problems using ROCK principles. To explain how the ROCK principles can be applied to help you through life’s challenges, big and small, below are ten scenarios of life problems and how to ROCK thru them.

Before you dive into the examples here are a few things to keep in mind. 

Applying the Principles to Life Problems

Life problems are unique.

These examples are meant to provide a better understanding of how to ROCK thru a challenging situation. There is a good chance that none of these examples will perfectly fit your unique lens of life. But hopefully, there will be a few moments, maybe even pieced together from different scenarios, that you can relate to. When you read through the examples, you may sense some repetitiveness, and that’s the point. As you apply the principles to your own life, you begin to see that they are consistently applicable, no matter the challenge.

Life problems are unpredictable

Most life problem solutions rely on interactions with other people in our interdependent culture, and people are unpredictable. This is why I don’t play out the scenarios to the final solution. I don’t want to paint the picture of applying these principles and living “happily ever after.” Instead, the scenarios are intended to show the intentional process, mind shift, and approach when applying these principles. As Patrick M. Regan said, “…remind yourself that the only thing you can truly control is you – and your reaction to what the world throws at you.” The scenarios give you an idea of how to use the ROCK principles to control your reactions to life problems, not anyone else’s.

It can be difficult to solve life problems

ROCK thru is an approach to life, not a quick fix for substantial challenges. These principles aren’t magic, and applying them takes some diligence. It also takes a fair amount of courage and self-awareness to pull off. But I’ve found that although difficult, working through a problem in this way gets me to a better solution, faster. I’m sharing this not to overwhelm you but to be forthright. Also, without this context, some of the scenarios will seem grossly oversimplified. We live in a complex world with complex problems that don’t usually have simple answers. But ROCK thru provides a framework to apply love, through Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness, to help get through those difficult times and solve life problems.

Solving life problems can be messy

In the beginning, when the four principles (Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness) began to emerge, I was frustrated when they didn’t fit neatly into their own categories. After a while, I began to realize that way the principles converge is part of their beauty. They naturally flow into one another, combining into one thing, love.

How to apply R.O.C.K. to Solve Life Problems

how solve problems in life

There is a visual summary infographic at the bottom of this page if you want a simple overview and reference of how to apply Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness to solve life problems. 

Apply Respect to Solve a Life Problem

Name all of the people in the situation and what aspects of Respect you can give. Always include yourself since you can’t truly offer Respect to others if you don’t grant it to yourself first. Also, even if you feel resentful towards another person, dig deep to find an aspect of their character that you can honor. This will be an essential foundation so that you can ROCK thru the situation.

Apply Ownership (and the three A’s) to Solve a Life Problem

Intentionally become A ware and A ccept the Truths of the Situation:

Be sure that you look at the situation from multiple perspectives, especially those of other people who may have a different outlook. This is where you search and layout all the truths; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Ownership and Connection often overlap here because you may need to reach out to others to have a well-rounded understanding.

Take A ction on the Truths:

This step can be overwhelming, so when dealing with a complex issue, it is best to write down the actions you plan to take. Break down the actions that you plan to take into manageable steps. I find it best when they are “SMART” (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) actions so that your plan is realistic and doable.

An example of a higher-level SMART action is: “Eliminate all of my credit card debt, $3,419.27, in six months.”

An example of a lower-level task action (a step towards the larger goal) is: “Cancel current credit cards so that no more debt can be accumulated.”

Of course, writing the steps down is only the first step to taking action. Next, you will need to work through the actions you have listed. If you get stuck or overwhelmed, go back to the other principles. Remind yourself of the Respect you have for yourself and others involved in the situation. This reminds you of an important aspect of why you are working to solve the problem in the first place. Make Connections with those in your support system and/or get professional help. And as you are taking action, impart Kindness on yourself. Working through to a solution is not easy so give yourself a break along the way. Most times it is fear that holds us back from taking action. That’s too much to unpack here but to gain a better understanding go to this post about overcoming fear and finding courage . 

Apply Connection to Solve a Life Problem

When using the ROCK principles to problem solve, Connection can be the most difficult of the four. We are often not comfortable with sharing our issues with others for fear of judgment. We are also not accustomed to reaching out for help or support. However, this principle adds the vital support, accountability, and perspective needed to quickly reach a solution. Be brave, find someone you trust or a professional and start making progress.

Apply Kindness to Solve a Life Problem

Although you are reading the principles in the order that spells out the ROCK acronym (Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness), the pillars are meant to overlap and be integrated as you work through to your solution. When generous consideration is given to others, solutions come more easily and quickly. We can disagree and be kind to each other at the same time.  

Although being kind sounds nice, the truth is that it’s not easy. It takes conscious effort and practice to do so. Especially when it comes to being kind to ourselves. Kindness to others begins with being kind to yourself. Make learning about and developing self-love activities a priority. 

10 Examples of how to ROCK thru to solve life problems

These ten examples are written in the first person, the “I” perspective, so the life problem and solution can be relatable. Think of these questions and responses as if you are having a conversation with yourself. Applying the ROCK thru principles is much like that anyway. They are meant to put you in a specific frame of mind so that you can approach and move through your challenges with thoughts and actions of love at the forefront. 

Here are links to each of the 10 scenarios so you can jump to and begin with the one that may be most applicable to you and begin to solve life problems.

Life Problem 1: Feeling Stuck

Life problem 2: relationship challenges.

  • Life Problem 3: Chronic Illness
  • Life Problem 4: Loss and Grief

Life Problem 5: Negativity

Life problem 6: financial debt.

  • Life Problem 7: Expectations and Pressure

Life Problem 8: Parenting Decisions

Life problem 9: workplace conflict, life problem 10: overwhelmed and exhausted.

how solve problems in life

I’ve been in my current role at work for several years and can’t seem to make career advancements within my company. I feel stuck and not sure what to do next.

I honor myself and the vision that I have for my career.

I honor my leaders at work, knowing that they too have a vision for our team and department.

Ownership (and the three A’s)

I like my current role and the company I work for.

I have a vision for how I’d like my career to progress.

I don’t have a good understanding of how my leaders see my career progressing.

I would move to another company to advance my career.

There is one specific leader who doesn’t seem to recognize my skills.

My natural tendency is to try to be content with the job I have. Still, it feels disingenuous to ignore my aspirations.

I write out a reasonable career trajectory noting both benefits to my company and me.

I share with my leaders to get input and advice on what steps to take to make it happen.

I put an action plan and timeline together for these steps. 

I schedule check-ins with my leaders to assess the progress.

I check in with myself to put together a clear vision and steps to achieve the goals.

I talk with my leaders to assess and get input on the vision and steps.

I seek out a mentor for a perspective outside of my company. 

I connect with other professionals on LinkedIn who currently have the next role that I would like to gain a better understanding of the skills needed.

I give myself the love, support, and encouragement as I work towards my professional goals. I show Kindness to others within my company to balance my passion for people and my professional aspirations.

how solve problems in life

I’m in a relationship with a guy that I hang out with all the time. Ryan and I go to dinner, watch movies, text every day, and are physically intimate. We have fun and have a lot in common. But, he doesn’t want to be “a couple.”

I honor myself and know I am enough, just as I am. 

Since I Respect Ryan in so many ways, I honor his perspective even though I don’t understand it or agree with it.

I don’t understand why he doesn’t want to be an “official” couple.

I really like spending time with Ryan.

I’m afraid that if I push too hard on this topic, he’ll distance himself.

I want to be authentic to myself and what I want in my life. 

I want to be intimate with someone who wants me to be their girlfriend. 

I think through the steps I want to take next.

I have three actions that I want to take; all of them fall into the Connection principle. 

I share my truths with others, a trusted girlfriend, and my brother to get well-rounded input.

I adjust my truths based on the points each of them makes that resonate with me.

Then, I share all of my truths with Ryan so he can fully understand my perspective.

I show myself Kindness by bravely approaching this topic. 

I take action so that I can be authentic to myself, the ultimate demonstration of self-Kindness.

Life Problem 3: Chronic Illness 

how solve problems in life

I have MS, a progressive, incurable disease that affects me in significant ways that aren’t always apparent to other people. How do I get through this and help those who love me better understand when I’m not feeling well?

I honor myself and know I am more than this disease. 

I honor others and know that they want to support me.

I don’t want MS, but it’s my reality.

I’m afraid of the progressive nature of the disease.

My natural tendency is to be in denial, although I know that will not help.

The more I know about the disease, the better I can cope.

My family wants to help; they just don’t understand the disease.

MS is complex and affects people in different ways.  

Utilize the resources at the MS Society website.

I talk to family members and tell them how the disease is affecting me and what I need.

I accept the help and support that others want to give.

I recognize that I need a support system. 

I join a local chapter of the MS Society or an online forum.  

I leverage the experiences and solutions of others who also have MS. 

I keep those closest to me updated on how the disease affects me because that is the only way they can support me.

MS is not kind to me, so I need to be extra kind to myself.  

I generously give myself; body, mind, and soul, what it needs.

Life Problem 4: Loss and Grief 

how solve problems in life

My closest friend just moved away, and she is starting a new and exciting life without me. I feel so alone. 

I honor myself and my feelings, knowing that it’s okay to miss my friend.

I honor my friend and the dreams that she wants to achieve in her new location.

Intentionally become Aware and Accept the Truths of the Situation:

I miss my friend. We used to have so much fun doing things, especially mountain biking. 

I’m afraid that she’ll forget me.

I’m afraid that I won’t find another friend to do similar activities with.

My natural tendency in situations like this is to shut down, although I know that will not help.

I know the reality is that I can make new friends, but I’m missing her so much that I don’t feel like being social.

Take Action on the Truths:

I talk with my friend and am honest about how I am feeling.

I reach out to my sister, and we plan a mountain biking trip together.

I research mountain biking clubs in my area.

I research mountain biking tours in a country I’ve always wanted to visit.

I connect with myself, knowing that situations like this have sent me into a downward spiral in the past. Being connected to myself during this difficult time is essential. 

I connect with my friend, being honest about my feelings. I wish her well, but I miss how much fun we had together. I suggest that I come to visit her when she gets settled. 

I start to research excellent mountain biking trails in her area. 

Although it’s difficult for me, I put myself out there. 

I join a mountain biking club to connect with others with similar interests.

I work on expanding my friend circle so that I can more easily adapt in the future. 

I send her a care package with a few things for her new apartment. (After all, although I’m having a rough go of it, I still want my friend to be happy.)

I generously give myself what I need.

I give my friend what she needs and support her in her new life adventure. 

how solve problems in life

My head is filled with negative narratives all day long. I know that this causes me to transfer that negativity to parts of my life that I value, like my relationships and career. 

I honor myself and my relationships that are impacted by my negativity. Even negative emotions need to be validated and understood. It’s not the emotions that are the problem, it’s how I allow the negativity to seep into my actions.

I don’t really know why I have such a negative lens on life. 

I know that the negativity is hurting personal and professional relationships.

I am willing to put in the work to solve the problem.

I really don’t know the steps that I need to take. 

I seek out resources to learn more about negativity and get ideas on how to overcome it.

I find a therapist to help me understand why I feel this way. 

I spend more time around the most positive people in my life.

I begin a daily gratitude journal to force myself to recognize just three things a day that I can be grateful for.

I seek professional guidance and reach out to a therapist. 

I share my goals with a few people that I trust so they can know that I am trying to resolve the problem and that I may be going through some emotional difficulties. 

I recognize that this is a difficult journey. 

I also give myself grace when I “mess up” along the way. I remind myself that it is a process.

how solve problems in life

I have credit card debt that I can’t seem to pay down, and it continues to get larger. 

I honor myself and that I am an evolving person that can learn from my mistakes.

I honor the financial decisions I have made in the past.

I have spent more than I have earned.

 I feel good, even if it’s for just a short time, when I buy things.

When I buy things or activities similar to my friends, I feel more part of the group.

I know that with the interest rate I am paying, each item purchased ends up costing a lot more.

Emotionally, it feels almost like an addiction. Sometimes I really can’t resist the temptation to buy something.

Logically, I know that I need to stop spending and pay off my credit card debt.

I seek out guidance from several financial experts to compare options to solve this problem.

I research ways to get out of debt. 

I set a “SMART” ( S pecific, M easurable, A chievable, R elevant, and T ime-bound) goal to use for focus. Example: “I will eliminate all of my credit card debt, $3,419.27, in six months.”

I put one or two strategies into place to begin to meet the goal. 

I research and seek resources at Spenders Anonymous.

I cancel current credit cards so that no more debt can be accumulated.

I add additional strategies after I master the first few.

I share the plan with a close friend or family member who can help me be accountable.

I spend more time with friends who I feel more comfortable with even when I don’t overspend.

I gently support myself through this challenging transition to more responsible spending. 

I lovingly encourage myself.

When I overspend, I don’t beat myself up. I remind myself that it takes time to change and allow myself some mistakes. 

Life Problem 7: Expectations and Pressure 

how solve problems in life

My parents, both doctors, want me to follow in their footsteps and become a physician. I know that is not the career path I want to take. If I don’t go to MD school, they won’t pay for college.

I honor my parents and their vision for me even though it is different than mine. 

I have no interest in becoming a physician. 

I’m afraid that if I do, I will be caught in a career that makes me miserable. 

I understand why my parents have this dream for me. 

Social work, the profession that I’d like to pursue, requires a degre e wh ich I don’t have the money to fund

I know that my parents genuinely want the best for me. 

If my parents don’t pay for my college, I will accumulate a lot of loan debt earning my degree.

I make a list of how becoming a social worker aligns with who I am and the life I’d like to lead.

I address my parents’ concerns so they know that I have taken their experience into consideration. 

I ask my parents to meet with me so we can talk.

I reach out to a few social workers to better understand the pros and cons of being a social worker. I adjust my truths where needed.

I listen intently to myself as I make the list of why the profession is meaningful to me. 

I meet with my parents to share my perspective.

I mentally prepare myself and commit to go into the conversation with my parents with Respect and Kindness. I generously listen and do my best to not lash out if my parents are still not supportive. 

how solve problems in life

My ten-year-old wants an iPhone. I decided that 12 years old would be an appropriate time to have a phone. But, now, I’m wavering because so many of her friends have smartphones.

I honor myself and know that I have good reasons for my decision. 

I love my daughter and want to keep her safe.

I know the data on the unfortunate effects of access to a smartphone, especially at a young age.

My daughter wants an iPhone but doesn’t need one.

There is other technology that she can access to meet some of her needs and wants.

I am the parent, and my job is to do what I think is best for her, even if that is different from what my daughter or other parents believe.

I do some more research to see if there are any new data that may change my point of view.

I ask my daughter for specific reasons why he wants a phone to be aware of his perspective. 

I talk to a few other parents to talk through my rationale and get their perspective. 

I talk to my daughter. I share the reasoning with her.

When I talk with my daughter, I do so by also generously listening to his perspective. I know that I can make her feel validated by listening and acknowledging her feelings. 

how solve problems in life

A colleague threw me under the bus in a meeting by inferring that my recent maternity leave was disruptive to a project.

I honor my family and where they fit into my value system.

I honor my colleague enough to address this situation. 

My family is important to me.

My career is important to me.  

I know I can successfully have both.

I took a reasonable amount of maternity leave that was supported by my boss.

Before I left for maternity leave, all details were shared with the point-person aligned to my projects.

I connect with my colleague to share how his behavior made me feel and more clearly share his concerns.

Although it is difficult, I meet with my colleague so that this incident doesn’t have a long-term impact on our relationship and work productivity. 

I give myself extra doses of self-Kindness and assurance that there is nothing wrong with growing my family and balancing it with a career. 

I approached the conversation with my colleague with Kindness, knowing that challenges were likely beneath the comment. I seek understanding and give her attention during the conversation as he shares his perspective. 

how solve problems in life

I am a working single mom of three. I am constantly on the go, and I am simply exhausted.

I honor myself and know I am enough and that I am doing the best that I can. 

I honor the difficulty of my situation.

I work hard to make ends meet.

I love my kids.

Taking a break or relaxing is a luxury that I feel I can’t afford.

I am willing to sacrifice myself for my kids’ well-being but know that it is detrimental to my health.

I am always tired. As a result, I can get pretty crabby with my kids. 

I know I can’t go on like this, but I don’t feel like I have any options. 

I take an evening and research “relaxation techniques for busy moms.”

I find a few options that feel doable.

I ask my neighbor if she is interested in taking one another’s kids once a week to each have a break. 

I ask a few other moms what they do to keep sane and healthy.

I share my challenge with my friend who has been in a similar situation. I ask for her support and some ideas that helped her when she was feeling overwhelmed. 

I show myself Kindness and give myself 10-20 minutes a day of permission to enjoy something small like a foot bath, a podcast episode, or quiet time with my cat. This helps me avoid resentfulness and shows my kids how they can give themselves Kindness too.

I hope these examples help you better understand and know how to apply the ROCK principles to your everyday, real-life problems to find real-life solutions. Let’s talk more about using Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness to find answers. Leave questions or thoughts in the comments below, and together*, we’ll ROCK thru to solve life problems! XO ~ Lee

*Please keep in mind that I’m not a professional therapist. This article is about using the four principles to solve problems, but if you need support unpacking emotions and getting suggestions for your specific issue, I highly recommend that you connect with a therapist. Here’s a great article that gives 9 Tips for Finding the Right Therapist.

how solve problems in life

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IQ Doodle

How to Solve Life Problems

Do you know how to solve life problems? Life is of course full of problems. In fact, it’s so full of problems that at times it seems as though solving one problem creates a new problem. But having problems is a necessary part of life. And living life in optimal ways requires understanding how to solve life problems. In fact, it could be said that those who successfully work through their problems live a happier, more fulfilling and rewarding life. But how to solve life problems? Is there a formula for solving all of life’s problems? Well, maybe not a formula, but using the following six steps can definitely bring some value.

1) TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PROBLEM

Solve your life problems

Okay, something unexpected just happened, and you now have this big problem on your hands. Yes, absolutely life is unfair. This is just such an inconvenience. In fact, you don’t even deserve this, and you certainly don’t have the time to deal with this problem. Right now, you kind of just want to crawl under a rock — hoping in your heart that this problem will just go away. But what good will that do? What good will it do to blame, complain or make excuses? You have this problem because life has something of value to teach you. With this in mind, take responsibility and use the problem as a challenge to get better.

2) AVOID MAKING ASSUMPTIONS

Solve your life problems

Having taken full responsibility for you problem, you are now in the right frame-of-mind to begin solving it. The best place to start is of course to use the lessons from solving past problems and applying them to your current predicament. Our past can certainly provide us with many valuable insights and clues to help us in the present moment. However, it’s important that we keep in mind that what worked in the past, may not necessarily work right now. Yes, certainly use the lessons from the past on how to solve life problems and try to apply them to your current problem, however stay vigilant and aware that other possibilities may also exist.

3) TURN YOUR PROBLEM INTO A QUESTION

How to Solve Daily Life Problems

Thinking about how to solve life problems always begins with proper perspective. However, in order to gain proper perspective you need to ask the right questions. This all of course begins the moment you decide to turn your problem into a question and start restating it in a variety of ways. This is advantageous because asking a question brings along with it possibilities and answers. It encourages us to focus on solutions rather than getting lost within the intricacies of our problem. Asking one question of course brings to mind other possible questions. And with every question asked you gain deeper insights that can help you solve your life problems.

4) SEEK ALTERNATIVE PERSPECTIVES

How to Solve your life problems: 6 Quick and Powerful Tips

While trying to solve your life problems you may at times get stuck. You will reach a point where you just run out of ideas and just don’t quite know how to proceed. This is the point where you need to look for alternative perspectives that will help shift your view of the problem. Books can of course be of tremendous value. Throughout history people have been solving all sorts of problems. Learn from them and use their stories of struggle and triumph on how to solve life problems in your own life. Likewise ask the people in your life for their input, ideas and suggestions. Their unique life experiences might help you see your problem in a more favorable light.

5) THINK IN PICTURES

Here is an Effective Method for Solving Your Life Problems

If ever you’re struggling to solve your life problems, it can be helpful to start thinking in pictures. Pictures will help you to bring your thoughts to life on paper in front of your eyes. Once there, you can begin playing with your thoughts, exploring your thoughts, and even re-imagining them on paper in a variety of ways. Doing so will help you assess your problem from unique vantage points and perspectives that may lead to incredible breakthroughs and ideas. You can of course do this using doodles, mind maps, metaphors and diagrams. Just tap into your inner child and allow your imagination run wild.

6) PONDER OVER YOUR PROBLEM

Solve your life problems

Sometimes the harder we try to solve our life problems, the less progress we seem to make. If you ever reach that point, then it can be helpful to step back from trying so hard, and instead spend time pondering over your problem in a variety of ways. To ponder over a problem requires putting yourself into a relaxed state-of-mind, and then just allowing your imagination to go to work. You can of course do this while lying in bed, walking along the beach, or while meditating. Sometimes it just takes time to solve a problem. You need to give your ideas the space to manifest, to grow and expand in your imagination.

HOW TO SOLVE LIFE PROBLEMS SUMMARY

So there you have it. Those are the steps you need to take on how to solve life problems. It’s not quite a fullproof formula, but using these six steps can certainly help you work through your life problems far more effectively. Some problems will of course take a little more time and effort to solve. Just maybe you might not even be able to solve all of them. You might very well fail time and again. But within every failure there is the seed of opportunity to learn and grow from every experience that will help you to solve your life problems in better ways.

Six steps for solving lifes problems

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Imagine for a moment you could develop new habits and methods of thinking where you naturally and effortlessly adopt these ideas into your life on how to solve life problems. How would that make you feel? Would you feel more fulfilled, empowered and in control?

Yes, there is such simplicity within this IQ Doodle, but of course there is a reason for that. Making positive change doesn’t need to be a complicated process. It just needs to be a consistent process where we progressively develop new habits-of-mind through repeated exposure and implementation. And that’s what these IQ Doodles are for.

We have prepared for you an IQ Doodle pack that includes several variations of this IQ Doodle that you can use for guidance and inspiration on how to solve life problems . Use it consistently and you will begin making positive changes in the way you live, work and interact with others.

Visit the IQ Doodle Store to learn more about how to use this IQ Doodle on how to solve life problems and begin optimizing the way you live your life today.

Learn More About this Topic

Want to know more about this topic? Here are some helpful links to articles that you may find of value:

  • 5 Problem Solving Techniques for Every Aspect of Life @ Fast Company
  • Here is an Effective Method for Solving All Your Problems  @ IQ Matrix
  • How to Solve Problems Like an Expert @ Psychology Today
  • Need to Solve a Problem? Dreaming May Help @ Inc.
  • The Problem Solving Paradox of Creativity @ The Creativity Post

3 thoughts on “How to Solve Life Problems”

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There is no problem without a solution. All problems have enough solution to the whole scope of its being. But it must be clear that solutions won’t present itself to you and your problems. There is nothing like too BIG PROBLEM. TOO BIG PROBLEMS,there is also a too big solution to it. BIG PLUS BIG equals to BIG SOLUTION.

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It’s mind-blowing writing, thank you very much for sharing this type of amazing thought.

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Very powerful article, everyone should read. Thank you so much for the great information

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How to Solve Problems in Life

How to Solve Problems in Life

Problems, problems, problems! How to solve problems in life? Guess what? Even kids have problems. It is part and parcel of life. Without problems how would we ever find success or be happy. If there is a problem, only we have the power to solve it.

The ability to solve problems in life can make a huge difference and it gets easier when you realize that problems are simply choices.

Once we find out the way to solve it, we will be happy. How to solve problems in life? As we say, problems are persistent and that makes it worse.

But, every problem also has a solution. Right? Then why don’t we find them? The answer is simple: it is difficult and time-consuming. People want to take it easy in life and when a problem hits, they just want to ignore it.

How to solve problems in life?

To be an effective problem-solver, you need to be systematic and logical in your approach. Most people believe in evading the problem or even trying to wish it away. This never happens and like cancer, it will eventually spread and reach a point where it is difficult to control.

It is the negative attitude of a person towards problems that make them enormous. Accept problems as they come and try helping yourself by looking out for the ways to find solutions.

Another thing is whenever a tricky or problematic situation strikes and you try to tackle it, you might be saving yourself from a huge problem in the future. For instance, when you know that the house may catch fire, you will get a fire extinguisher. You wouldn’t let the house catch fire! The point is that problems can also be taken as opportunities that will help you solve bigger problems.

However, if you are a lazy person, then of course problems will always remain a problem no matter how small it is.

Problems need to be looked at it in different ways so that you do not feel their burden. Now let us see how to make the problem look like solutions.

Know the problem

Basically, the initial step will be to know what the problem is and then get to the root of it. After understanding the problem, you will know its intensity and size. Whatever the size, you have to go about gathering the facts and work it out to solve it. Success lies in your approach to handling and solving the problem. Finding a way out helps you keep emergencies at bay and stay composed in chaotic times.

Think Rationally

There are bound to be problems in life. Accept that. Now, you have the perfect mindset to think rationally. Although (not always, but most of the time), it is important that you share your thoughts about the problem with someone close or the person who can really help with it. If you are flexible in looking at a problem, you can view it from many different perspectives.

Some people need guidance in life and they can achieve greater things. So let your mind be open to suggestions and advice that will help to make life a little easier.

Of course it all depends on the type of problem—whether it is personal or anything else. Another aspect is the root of the problem that is why the particular problem is there.

Learn from the past

You can analyze your mistakes and then solve them. Problems can even be solved by checking out past mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and you will be set on the right path. Be confident. Making an attempt to solve the problem is your responsibility towards your life and from which you cannot shy away.

Ask for help

What’s wrong with that? You are human, right? So what if you are an achiever ? You can still ask for help. That will not lower your esteem. Instead, you can get plenty of solutions from all kinds of people and you can choose what suits you the best.

You cannot solve a problem with the same level of consciousness that created it ~ Carl Jung ( Tweet this )

Anger will not help

Yelling at everyone because of a problem will make the situation unpleasant. Keep a smile on your face and see how people react. But with an angry face, people will only create more problems for you.

Conclusion – how to solve problems in life

Everyone has problems in life. “How to solve problems in life?” is the question that everybody needs an answer to. The problem is the result of not accepting something that is not fine and not solving it at the right time. However, one thing is sure, ignoring a problem means aggravating the situation and on the contrary, grabbing it right in the beginning definitely has some hope for a solution.

It is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail. ~ Abraham Harold Maslow ( Tweet this )

Solve your problems in life carefully. Some problems just have to be managed. There’s no simple way to solve, avoid or minimize them. The problem isn’t a cover for a larger issue. It’s just a problem. You have to deal with it.

When people know what to do, they don’t get upset. It’s when they don’t know what to do that they get overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed. ~ Anon ( Tweet this )

So Solve, Avoid, Cut, Address, Cope and try to solve problems in life!

  • personal skills
  • problem solving

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Vandana singhal.

Vandana Singhal writes extensively on science, technology, health, and travel. Vandana has a degree in science and is artistic in nature.

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10 Expert Tips On How To Live A Longer, Healthier Life

By Kathleen Baird-Murray

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What is the secret to–if not eternal life, then a long one, that’s also well-lived? Kathleen Baird-Murray asks the experts for their tips on how to live longer and prioritizing your health.

1. The goal: 10 extra years of a life you love

“We have improved longevity,” says Professor Tim Spector OBE, genetic epidemiologist, author of The New Science of Eating Well , and the scientific co-founder of ZOE , the personalized nutrition company “but we haven’t really improved health span.” There’s a lot that medical science can do to save your life, but for chronic diseases like heart disease, diabetes, dementia, strokes, and cancers, we need to be better equipped at helping ourselves. Spector argues that it can be slow to getting a diagnosis and treatment, with the real reason for cancer statistics going up having more to do with the fact that our lifestyles are getting worse. “The best thing we can do is change our mindset. Rather than just waiting for our bodies to fall apart, and then have slightly ineffective treatments, the mindset needs to be, “How can I have ten extra years of healthy life, of a life that I can enjoy?”

2. Knowledge is power

“Our genetic make-up is only a possibility of risks,” says Dr Sabine Donnai, founder and CEO of Viavi Health Strategy . “Think of it like playing cards. The hand you’ve been dealt with–your genetic makeup–is the cards, so play it cleverly. That starts with looking at your cards, and understanding the rules of the game.” Her own four “non-negotiable” rules are: avoiding sugars, supplementing with Vitamin D and Omega3, maintaining (or increasing) muscle mass and meditation. Donnai advises her patients to opt for two types of tests when seeking an understanding of their longevity potential: those that measure the onset of chronic disease (glucose, insulin, GSP, low density lipoprotein or cholesterol, body mass index and blood level indicators of inflammation); and those that measure different biological ages, for which she favours the Dunedin speed of ageing test. Ask your doctor for an annual blood work check up; or book in with Dr Donnai herself.

3. Take a longevity holiday

Equally, you could multi-task your annual holiday with a trip to a longevity-spa and take advantage of the medicalized, diagnostic-focused, wellness programs designed to maximize our health just when we’re at our most relaxed. The downside–optimum health and stunning locations come at a price, and it’s not a cheap one–but on Vogue’s list of dream health destinations are: Mayrlife, and its pioneering personalized diets, medical support, and anti-inflammatory programs designed to slow down biological aging, while in the spectacular surrounds of Lake Altaussee in Austria; Burgenstock Hotel and Alpine Spa in Switzerland, with its state-of-the-art diagnostic tests set to a backdrop of the dramatic Lake Lucerne. There’s also SHA Wellness and its healthy aging consultation complete with telomeric length and senescence immune profiling, as well as their delicious and world-renowned macrobiotic menu, while Six Senses Ibiza and its RoseBar longevity programs where over a period of one, three or seven days their medical experts help you discover new ways to feel revitalized, via nutritional support, exercise, biohacking, as well as specific treatments around advanced longevity science; or the exquisite Palace Merano , in Italy, with its new Revital Detox for Longevity program, where Traditional Chinese Medicine and the latest in western science are combined with a nutritionally balanced menu in a bid to find balance between body and mind. With panoramic mountain views and endless nature trails to walk along, it’s both relaxing and life-changing.

4. Avoid ultra-processed foods

Keep your gut healthy by eating 30 different plants a week to ensure you have plenty of diversity within your diet, says Spector, who also prioritizes the four k’s–kefir, (sauer)kraut, kimchi, and kombucha, which have all been shown to reduce inflammation. Meanwhile, avoid processed foods at all costs. Here’s a wake up call: the mere fact of eating ultra processed food increases your risk of death by 29 percent according to a report in the American Journal of Epidemiology “Ultra-processed foods have such a detrimental effect on our health, all our lives,” says Spector. “And that’s because it’s affecting our gut health. We don’t have the full data yet, it’s still fairly new, but if you combine the epidemic of ultra-processed food and our lack of gut health, these have the biggest impact on our health span and lifespan.”

5. A smoothie for life

“This smoothie always makes me feel great, I’m full for hours and it feels nourishing for my body,” says Rhian Stephenson, the Nutritional Therapist and Naturopath who founded the supplements brand ARTAH. Stephenson swears by blood sugar management, food quality, and what she calls a “longevity-focused cleanse” twice a year, where she focuses on cellular repair and rejuvenation, to keep healthy.

Each of the smoothie ingredients has a part to play. A few slices of peeled turmeric and ginger have anti-inflammatory qualities; one tablespoon of chia seeds provides amino acids and fiber; one avocado is a healthy source of fat; two medjool dates add fiber; three handfuls of mixed dark frozen fruit and a handful of greens are rich in vitamins, minerals and polyphenols. Stephenson also adds a dose of Artah Cellular Hydration , for essential electrolytes, extra Vitamin C and adaptogenic Maca. Blend with 250 mls of water and 250 mls of plant milk, adding more water if needed. Serves two.

6. Look after your teeth

Look after your teeth; gum disease, an indicator of chronic inflammation, is increasingly linked to a wide range of health problems, from Alzheimer’s to heart disease and diabetes. Dr Milad Shadrooh , Oral-B Dentist Ambassador, recommends brushing with an electric toothbrush twice daily for two minutes before breakfast and then again before bed at night as well as once-daily rinsing with a good mouthwash, and once-daily flossing using interdental brushes or an oral irrigator. “You also need a good toothpaste with the right amount of fluoride–1450ppm for adults–as this will reduce the potential for tooth decay,” he says. “It is important not to swallow the toothpaste, but instead to spit out the excess. Don’t rinse afterwards, that way the fluoride continues to protect the teeth.”

As well as avoiding sugar in your diet, smoking–including vaping–is a big no-no. “We are now starting to see research that shows the negative effects of vaping on our oral health. Those who smoke are at a much higher risk of developing gum disease, tooth loss, and oral cancer.”

7. Weight training is key

“As the years go by, you need to try harder to keep up your muscle mass,” says Dr Donnai. “Weight training will increase your growth hormone production, as well as collagen, sex hormones, energy, and help you to destress and keep your body fat down.”

8. Ice, ice baby

From plunging your face in cold water (I wouldn’t recommend this if you’re prone to broken capillaries or rosacea) to cold showers, to state of the art cryo-chambers, there’s an ice bath out there for you. With increasing evidence that controlled cold exposure can reduce inflammation and increase longevity, Lakes by Yoo now offers guided cold water immersions as part of the new wellness development program to invigorate and kick-start the metabolism. The Ice Bath by Brass Monkey is set to below two degrees, with 15-30mm sheets of ice released in cycles, so you’re bathing in ice rather than just ice-cold water.

9. Relationships have an impact on your health

“An often underestimated longevity factor is social engagement,” says TCM practitioner, Dr John Tsagaris , “as loneliness and social isolation have been linked with a higher risk of chronic diseases and premature death.” But beware the fear of being alone if it keeps you in an unhappy relationship for longer. “Staying with someone who is destructively critical and unkind is debilitating for psyche and soma,” says Jane Haynes . “Whatever our relationship status is, we all–from birth to death–need people to communicate with and ideally have at least one intimate relationship where we can drop our mask and be recognized in our vulnerability. Nobody likes waking up alone in the dark with a panic attack but is it even worse if there is someone there who couldn’t care less?”

10. Goodnight, sleep tight

Do as yogis do and push the cyclic pattern of negative attitudes far away so that tomorrow will be an even better day. “It’s an uncompromising step to developing a long life,” says Sandeep Agarwalla Premananda, Head of Yoga at the Ananda in the Himalayas. He suggests a Review of the Day–where we “watch” our days’ actions and behaviors before going to sleep. “The practice makes you aware of your limitations and puts a conscious break to negative patterns.”

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How to solve the most common relationship problems

Posted: November 22, 2023 | Last updated: November 22, 2023

<p>Intimate relationships take a lot of work, and even the strongest ones run into problems sometimes. With both of you tired from work, in-laws getting on your nerves, or the <a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/lifestyle/439927/life-skills-parents-can-teach-their-children-for-success" rel="noopener">kids</a> in trouble at school, these are all normal factors that can cause some trouble in a relationship. But life will never cease to throw all kinds of challenges at you—it just takes effort to work through them. Relationships only survive when people have the capacity to find shared ground, commit to one another, and overcome challenges.</p> <p>So take a look at the most common relationship problems couples tend to have, and discover how you and your partner can work together towards a happy and healthy relationship.</p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/177433?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287v2en-en"> 11 cities around the world that may run out of water</a></p>

Intimate relationships take a lot of work, and even the strongest ones run into problems sometimes. With both of you tired from work, in-laws getting on your nerves, or the kids in trouble at school, these are all normal factors that can cause some trouble in a relationship. But life will never cease to throw all kinds of challenges at you—it just takes effort to work through them. Relationships only survive when people have the capacity to find shared ground, commit to one another, and overcome challenges.

So take a look at the most common relationship problems couples tend to have, and discover how you and your partner can work together towards a happy and healthy relationship.

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<p>Lack of trust doesn't always relate to infidelity. It can appear anytime and constantly create doubt between partners. To work past this, both should work on being consistent and trustworthy. Call when you say you’ll call, and never lie. Showing respect also helps to build trust.</p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

Lack of trust

Lack of trust doesn't always relate to infidelity. It can appear anytime and constantly create doubt between partners. To work past this, both should work on being consistent and trustworthy. Call when you say you’ll call, and never lie. Showing respect also helps to build trust.

Follow us and access great exclusive content every day

<p>Life can sometimes be too much and overwhelm you. Whatever the reason, it can put a strain on your relationship. When this happens, lean on each other for support. </p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

Overwhelming

Life can sometimes be too much and overwhelm you. Whatever the reason, it can put a strain on your relationship. When this happens, lean on each other for support. 

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<p>When you have a lot of things going on, it can be easy to take your partner for granted. Make time for each other every single day, even if you're busy. Don't forget to also text regularly throughout the day. </p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/219788?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> Royals caught off-guard</a></p>

Not prioritizing each other

When you have a lot of things going on, it can be easy to take your partner for granted. Make time for each other every single day, even if you're busy. Don't forget to also text regularly throughout the day. 

<p>Money is a leading cause of stress in relationships. One of the tips to fix issues regarding finances is to have a serious conversation about money. Figure out what your budget is and stick to it. Also, work out a financial plan for the future and the steps you need to take together. </p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

Money stress

Money is a leading cause of stress in relationships. One of the tips to fix issues regarding finances is to have a serious conversation about money. Figure out what your budget is and stick to it. Also, work out a financial plan for the future and the steps you need to take together. 

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<p>It's normal for us to change as we move through life. And changing once shared priorities can cause a lot of conflicts. Look for common ground, and find a compromise that you are both happy with.</p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/221733?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> Epic celebrity falls</a></p>

Changing priorities

It's normal for us to change as we move through life. And changing once shared priorities can cause a lot of conflicts. Look for common ground, and find a compromise that you are both happy with.

<p>Children require a lot of attention and effort. This can cause a strain on the relationship, especially when partners disagree on how to raise them. Talk to your partner about why they think something should be done differently, and share your opinion. This will help you understand each other. </p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

Children require a lot of attention and effort. This can cause a strain on the relationship, especially when partners disagree on how to raise them. Talk to your partner about why they think something should be done differently, and share your opinion. This will help you understand each other. 

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<p>It's easy to lose your temper when it feels like you're the only one taking out the trash or doing the dishes. Agree together on who is responsible for what, and stick to it. Of course, a little flexibility should be factored in when someone is busier than usual. </p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/221847?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> The Last Supper: famous final feasts</a></p>

It's easy to lose your temper when it feels like you're the only one taking out the trash or doing the dishes. Agree together on who is responsible for what, and stick to it. Of course, a little flexibility should be factored in when someone is busier than usual. 

<p>Problems with intimacy can be stressful and have a big impact on your relationship. It's important to have a serious talk and carve out time for you to be both emotionally and physically close. </p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

Different intimacy needs

Problems with intimacy can be stressful and have a big impact on your relationship. It's important to have a serious talk and carve out time for you to be both emotionally and physically close. 

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<p>Being taken for granted is one of the biggest reasons for breakups. Make sure you show appreciation, because that's what keeps us motivated and committed. </p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/225345?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> Cringeworthy moments when celebrities called out their interviewers</a></p>

Lack of appreciation

Being taken for granted is one of the biggest reasons for breakups. Make sure you show appreciation, because that's what keeps us motivated and committed. 

<p>A partner’s addiction can cause a significant effect on the family and couple's overall happiness. Counseling and therapy can be enormously helpful as it helps both partners deal with the issues that inevitably arise.</p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

A partner’s addiction can cause a significant effect on the family and couple's overall happiness. Counseling and therapy can be enormously helpful as it helps both partners deal with the issues that inevitably arise.

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<p>Infidelity means various things to different people. Talking about what infidelity is for you and your partner is important. However, when it has happened, the couple can try to regain trust and rebuild, or end the relationship. </p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/246349?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> The alcoholic beverage of choice in all 50 states</a></p>

Infidelity means various things to different people. Talking about what infidelity is for you and your partner is important. However, when it has happened, the couple can try to regain trust and rebuild, or end the relationship. 

<p>When we get into a relationship, we want to share everything with the one we love. But this can lead to feelings of losing one’s individuality and freedom. Think of areas that you want to keep to yourself, like a hobby or sport. Explain this to your partner, so they don't feel rejected. </p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

Over-involvement

When we get into a relationship, we want to share everything with the one we love. But this can lead to feelings of losing one’s individuality and freedom. Think of areas that you want to keep to yourself, like a hobby or sport. Explain this to your partner, so they don't feel rejected. 

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<p>When there is a critical difference in core values and the way partners approach life, then conflict is bound to happen. To solve this, you need to reflect on what kind of changes you both need to make in order for the relationship to survive. </p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/289671?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> When the royals turn heads because of their legs</a></p>

Significant differences

When there is a critical difference in core values and the way partners approach life, then conflict is bound to happen. To solve this, you need to reflect on what kind of changes you both need to make in order for the relationship to survive. 

<p>Some signs of jealousy include asking for your whereabouts, distrusting you, checking up on you, or distancing you. If your partner is jealous, try to be transparent, predictable, and honest. Give them time to trust you. But for this to be solved, they need to make an effort to change their behavior. </p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

Some signs of jealousy include asking for your whereabouts, distrusting you, checking up on you, or distancing you. If your partner is jealous, try to be transparent, predictable, and honest. Give them time to trust you. But for this to be solved, they need to make an effort to change their behavior. 

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<p>Drifting apart can happen slowly, and you won't even notice it until you wake up one day and realize that you haven't been intimate for a long time. So when you notice the signs, it is time to act. Make time for each other to reconnect. </p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/291814?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> Social situations that introverts dread</a></p>

Growing apart

Drifting apart can happen slowly, and you won't even notice it until you wake up one day and realize that you haven't been intimate for a long time. So when you notice the signs, it is time to act. Make time for each other to reconnect. 

<p>Having unrealistic expectations is normal for humans. However, this can lead to tons of misunderstandings and frustration. Ask yourself, what is it you feel entitled to? When you understand what your expectations are, and your partner doesn't meet them, then you can ask for different wishes.</p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

Unrealistic expectations

Having unrealistic expectations is normal for humans. However, this can lead to tons of misunderstandings and frustration. Ask yourself, what is it you feel entitled to? When you understand what your expectations are, and your partner doesn't meet them, then you can ask for different wishes.

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<p>Lack of support from a partner can lead to feelings of loneliness and anxiety. Talking about what we need and what we can provide will clear the air around a lot of issues. This way your partner can work on being the main pillars of encouragement and comfort again.</p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/294009?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> Take flight for a brief history of aviation</a></p>

Lack of support

Lack of support from a partner can lead to feelings of loneliness and anxiety. Talking about what we need and what we can provide will clear the air around a lot of issues. This way your partner can work on being the main pillars of encouragement and comfort again.

<p>When one of the partners avoids taking responsibility, it can cause severe damage to the partnership. Responsibility needs to be distributed equally. But to address it, don't play the blame game. Also, if the change is to be long-lasting, it needs to happen gradually.</p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

Lack of responsibility

When one of the partners avoids taking responsibility, it can cause severe damage to the partnership. Responsibility needs to be distributed equally. But to address it, don't play the blame game. Also, if the change is to be long-lasting, it needs to happen gradually.

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<p>All couples are exposed to outside influences and opinions. However, your relationship comes first, and everyone else’s opinion is secondary. Therefore, show each other support.  </p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/309039?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> The lost roles: All the films Brad Pitt almost starred in</a></p>

Outside influences

All couples are exposed to outside influences and opinions. However, your relationship comes first, and everyone else’s opinion is secondary. Therefore, show each other support.  

<p>If you feel like the relationship is moving too fast or too slowly, it can make you terribly upset over seemingly little things. You might even question the relationship. You need to address it in order to understand how to find the middle ground, and meet both of your needs. </p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

Moving at different speeds

If you feel like the relationship is moving too fast or too slowly, it can make you terribly upset over seemingly little things. You might even question the relationship. You need to address it in order to understand how to find the middle ground, and meet both of your needs. 

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<p>Arguments are a part of every relationship. However, it can have either a helpful or destructive outcome depending on how it goes. A good fight is one where you end up agreeing on a first step to resolve the issue. Be sure to listen to each other. </p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/320905?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> This is the coldest inhabited place on Earth</a></p>

Ineffective argument

Arguments are a part of every relationship. However, it can have either a helpful or destructive outcome depending on how it goes. A good fight is one where you end up agreeing on a first step to resolve the issue. Be sure to listen to each other. 

<p>This kind of toxic behavior diminishes the other partner’s freedom, confidence, and sense of self-worth. To deal with it, speak up, set boundaries, and seek couples counseling. </p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

Controlling behavior

This kind of toxic behavior diminishes the other partner’s freedom, confidence, and sense of self-worth. To deal with it, speak up, set boundaries, and seek couples counseling. 

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<p>Traumatic life events can put stress on any relationship and affect both your emotional and physical health. When this happens, don't shut your partner out. Be there for each other, even when times are rough.</p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/331224?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> Stunning Hindu temples you need to see to believe</a></p>

Traumatic life events can put stress on any relationship and affect both your emotional and physical health. When this happens, don't shut your partner out. Be there for each other, even when times are rough.

<p>When you keep blaming and recalling mistakes, then you're keeping a scoreboard. This only leads to anger and bitterness. If you want to save the relationship, speak your mind and don't build up the issues for later. </p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

Keeping a scoreboard

When you keep blaming and recalling mistakes, then you're keeping a scoreboard. This only leads to anger and bitterness. If you want to save the relationship, speak your mind and don't build up the issues for later. 

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<p>It's common for a couple to have the same fight over and over. When it starts to escalate, it can be very problematic for the relationship. Make sure to address the root of the problem, so that you can try to make a real and lasting change in your behaviors. </p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/343987?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> Bandmates who slept together</a></p>

Same fights

It's common for a couple to have the same fight over and over. When it starts to escalate, it can be very problematic for the relationship. Make sure to address the root of the problem, so that you can try to make a real and lasting change in your behaviors. 

<p>All relationships go through periods of fun and boredom. However, when most days have a feeling of monotony, it's time to do something about it. Make a conscious decision to add spontaneity into the relationship. This will hopefully bring back the fun. </p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

All relationships go through periods of fun and boredom. However, when most days have a feeling of monotony, it's time to do something about it. Make a conscious decision to add spontaneity into the relationship. This will hopefully bring back the fun. 

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<p>When you're in a relationship, it's a top priority to nurture and develop the connection. But sometimes life gets in the way. When you notice this happening, then it's time to make a conscious effort to reprioritize each other. </p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/347366?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> Bizarre discoveries in the most unexpected places</a></p>

Life gets in the way

When you're in a relationship, it's a top priority to nurture and develop the connection. But sometimes life gets in the way. When you notice this happening, then it's time to make a conscious effort to reprioritize each other. 

<p>Poor <a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/lifestyle/460517/simple-ways-to-have-a-better-conversation" rel="noopener">communication</a> leads to misunderstandings, fights, and frustration. Good communication skill make all the difference to your relationship. Learn how to listen without judging, interrupting, or attacking when you try to get your point across. </p><p>You may also like:<a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/n/216519?utm_source=msn.com&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=referral_description&utm_content=516287en-us"> The world's most difficult languages to learn</a></p>

Poor communication

Poor communication leads to misunderstandings, fights, and frustration. Good communication skill make all the difference to your relationship. Learn how to listen without judging, interrupting, or attacking when you try to get your point across. 

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<p>It's of the utmost importance to feel safe in a relationship. Whether it's verbal, emotional, or physical abuse, this kind of danger needs to be taken seriously and addressed immediately. If you need help, reach out to someone or call a helpline. </p><p>Sources: (<a href="https://www.talkspace.com/blog/relationship-problems/" rel="noopener">Talk Space</a>) (<a href="https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/solutions-for-8-common-relationship-issues/" rel="noopener">Marriage</a>)</p><p>See also: <a href="https://www.starsinsider.com/lifestyle/497076/how-to-survive-past-the-honeymoon-phase-of-a-relationship">How to survive past the honeymoon phase of a relationship</a></p><p><a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/community/channel/vid-7xx8mnucu55yw63we9va2gwr7uihbxwc68fxqp25x6tg4ftibpra?cvid=94631541bc0f4f89bfd59158d696ad7e">Follow us and access great exclusive content everyday</a></p>

It's of the utmost importance to feel safe in a relationship. Whether it's verbal, emotional, or physical abuse, this kind of danger needs to be taken seriously and addressed immediately. If you need help, reach out to someone or call a helpline. 

Sources: (Talk Space) (Marriage)

See also: How to survive past the honeymoon phase of a relationship

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Hamas Took Her, and Still Has Her Husband

The story of one family at the center of the war in gaza..

This transcript was created using speech recognition software. While it has been reviewed by human transcribers, it may contain errors. Please review the episode audio before quoting from this transcript and email [email protected] with any questions.

I can’t remember the word, but do you know the kind of fungi connection between trees in the forest? How do you call it?

Mycelium. We are just — I just somehow feel that we are connected by this kind of infinite web of mycelium. We are so bound together. And I don’t think we really realized that until all this happened.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

It’s quite hard to explain, to me in a sense, because some people would say, oh, I’m so hoping your father will come, and then everything will be OK. And it’s very hard to explain that really this group of people decided to bring us up together, shared all their resources over 75 years, grow into each other, fight endlessly with each other, love and hate each other but somehow stay together. And their children will then meet and marry and make grandchildren.

And there’s so many levels of connection. And I’m sitting here in the room, and I see their faces, some of them. And we are incredibly — it’s hard to explain how much these people are missing from our kind of forest ground. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

From “The New York Times,” I’m Sabrina Tavernise, and this is “The Daily.”

It’s been nearly six months since Hamas attacked Israel on October 7 and took more than 200 people into Gaza. One of the hardest hit places was a village called Nir Oz, near the border with Gaza. One quarter of its residents were either killed or taken hostage.

Yocheved Lifshitz was one of those hostages and so was her husband, Oded Lifshitz. Yocheved was eventually released. Oded was not.

Today, the story of one family at the center of the war.

It’s Friday, March 29.

OK, here we go. OK.

Good morning, Yocheved. Good morning, Sharone.

Good morning.

Yocheved, could you identify yourself for me, please? Tell me your name, your age and where you’re from.

[SPEAKING HEBREW]

OK, I’ll translate. My name is Yocheved Lifshitz. I’m 85 years old. I was born in 1938. When I was 18, I arrived at kibbutz Nir Oz. I came alone with a group of people who decided to come and form and build a community on a very sandy territory, which was close to the Gaza Strip.

And my name is Sharone Lifschitz. I am 52 years old. I was raised in kibbutz Nir Oz by my mom and dad. So I lived there until I was 20. And I live for the last 30-something years in London.

And, Sharone, what do you have next to you?

Next to me I have a poster of my dad in both English and Hebrew. And it says, “Oded Lifshitz, 83.” And below that it says, “Bring him home now.” And it’s a photo where I always feel the love because he is looking at me. And there’s a lot of love in it in his eyes.

And why did you want to bring him here today, Sharone?

Because he should be talking himself. He should be here and able to tell his story. And instead, I’m doing it on his behalf. It should have been a story of my mom and dad sitting here and telling their story.

The story of Oded and Yocheved began before they ever met in Poland in the 1930s. Anti-Semitism was surging in Europe, and their families decided to flee to Palestine — Yocheved’s in 1933, the year Hitler came to power, and Oded’s a year later. Yocheved remembers a time near the end of the war, when her father received news from back home in Poland. He was deeply religious, a cantor in a synagogue. And he gathered his family around him to share what he’d learned.

And he said, we don’t have a family anymore. They’ve all been murdered. And he explained to us why there is no God. If there was a God, he would have protected my family. And this means that there is no God.

And suddenly, we stopped going to synagogue. We used to go every Saturday.

So it was a deep crisis for him. The shock and the trauma were very deep.

Abstention.

Abstention. Soviet Union? Yes. Yes. The United Kingdom? Abstained.

Yocheved’s father lived long enough to see a state establish for his children. The UN resolution of 1947 paved the way for a new country for Jews. And the next spring, Israel declared its independence. Yocheved remembers listening to the news on the radio with her parents.

The General Assembly of the United Nations has made its decision on Palestine.

We had a country. So now we’ll have somebody who’s protecting us. It’s a country for the people, to rebuild the people. This was the feeling we had.

In other words, if God could not protect you, this nation maybe could?

Yes. But the next day, it was already sad.

Israel was immediately forced to defend itself when its Arab neighbors attacked. Israel won that war. But its victory came at a great cost to the Palestinian Arabs living there. More than 700,000 either fled or were expelled from their homes. Many became refugees in Gaza in the south.

Suddenly, Yocheved and Oded saw themselves differently from their parents, not as minorities in someone else’s country, but as pioneers in a country of their own, ready to build it and defend it. They moved to the south, near the border line with Gaza. It was there, in a kibbutz, where they met for the first time.

The first time I met him, he was 16, and I was 17. And we didn’t really have this connection happening. But when we arrived at Nir Oz, that’s where some sort of a connection started to happen. And he was younger than I am by a year and a half. So at first I thought, he’s a kid. But for some reason, he insisted. Oded really insisted. And later, turned out he was right.

What was it about him that made you fall in love with him?

He was cute.

He was a cute kid. He was a cute boy.

What’s so funny?

He was a philosopher. He wrote a lot. He worked in agriculture. He was this cute boy. He was only 20, think about it.

And then I married him. And he brought two things with him. He brought a dog and he brought a cactus. And since then we’ve been growing a huge field of cacti for over 64 years.

What did it feel like to be starting a new life together in this new country? What was the feeling of that?

We were euphoric.

And what did you think you were building together?

We thought we were building a kibbutz. We were building a family. We were having babies. That was the vision. And we were thinking that we were building a socialist state, an equal state. And at first, it was a very isolated place. There were only two houses and shacks and a lot of sand. And little by little, we turned that place into a heaven.

Building the new state meant cultivating the land. Oded plowed the fields, planting potatoes and carrots, wheat and cotton. Yocheved was in charge of the turkeys and worked in the kitchen cooking meals for the kibbutz. They believed that the best way to live was communally. So they shared everything — money, food, even child-rearing.

After long days in the fields, Oded would venture outside the kibbutz to the boundary line with Gaza and drink beer with Brazilian peacekeepers from the UN and talk with Palestinians from the villages nearby. They talked about politics and life in Arabic, a language Oded spoke fluently. These were not just idle conversations. Oded knew that for Israel to succeed, it would have to figure out how to live side by side with its Arab neighbors.

He really did not believe in black and white, that somebody is the bad guy and somebody is the good guy, but there is a humanistic values that you can live in.

Sharone, what was your father like?

My father was a tall man and a skinny man. And he was —

he is — first of all, he is — he is a man who had very strong opinion and very well formed opinion. He read extensively. He thought deeply about matters. And he studied the piano. But as he said, was never that great or fast enough for classical. But he always played the piano.

[PIANO MUSIC]

He would play a lot of Israeli songs. He wound play Russian songs. He would play French chansons.

And he had this way of just moving from one song to the next, making it into a kind of pattern. And it was — it’s really the soundtrack of our life, my father playing the piano.

[PLAYING PIANO]:

[CONVERSATION IN HEBREW]:

[PLAYING PIANO]

So one side of him was the piano. Another side was he was a peace activist. He was not somebody who just had ideals about building bridges between nations. He was always on the left side of the political map, and he actioned it.

[NON-ENGLISH CHANTING]:

I remember growing up and going very regularly, almost weekly, to demonstrations. I will go regularly with my father on Saturday night to demonstrations in Tel Aviv. I will sit on his shoulders. He will be talking to all his activist friends. The smoke will rise from the cigarettes, and I will sit up there.

But somehow, we really grew up in that fight for peace.

Yocheved and Oded’s formal fight for peace began after the Arab-Israeli war of 1967. Israel had captured new territory, including the West Bank, the Sinai Peninsula, and the Gaza Strip. That brought more than a million Palestinians under Israeli occupation.

Oded immediately began to speak against it. Israel already had its land inside borders that much of the world had agreed to. In his view, taking more was wrong. It was no longer about Jewish survival. So when Israeli authorities began quietly pushing Bedouin Arabs off their land in the Sinai Peninsula, Oded took up the cause.

He helped file a case in the Israeli courts to try to stop it. And he and Yocheved worked together to draw attention to what was going on. Yocheved was a photographer, so she took pictures showing destroyed buildings and bulldozed land. Oded then put her photographs on cardboard and drove around the country showing them to people everywhere.

They became part of a growing peace movement that was becoming a force helping shape Israeli politics. Israel eventually returned the Sinai Peninsula to Egypt in 1982.

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

Whenever there is a movement towards reconciliation with our neighbors, it’s almost like your ability to live here, your life force, gets stronger. And in a way, you can think of the art of their activism as being a response to that.

And why did he and your mother take up that fight, the cause of the land? Why do you think that was what he fought for?

My father, he had a very developed sense of justice. And he always felt that had we returned those lands at that point, we could have reached long-term agreement at that point. Then we would have been in a very different space now. I know that in 2019, for example, he wrote a column, where he said that when the Palestinians of Gaza have nothing to lose, we lose big time. He believed that the way of living in this part of the world is to share the place, to reach agreement, to work with the other side towards agreements.

He was not somebody who just had ideals about building bridges between nations. Two weeks before he was taken hostage, he still drove Palestinians that are ill to reach hospital in Israel and in East Jerusalem. That was something that meant a lot to him. I think he really believed in shared humanity and in doing what you can.

Do you remember the last conversation you had with your father?

I don’t have a clear memory which one it was. It’s funny. A lot of things I forgot since. A lot of things have gone so blurred.

We actually didn’t have a last conversation. The last thing he said was, Yoche, there is a war. And he was shot in the hand, and he was taken out. And I was taken out. I couldn’t say goodbye to him. And what was done to us was done.

We’ll be right back.

Yocheved, the last thing Oded said was there’s a war. Tell me about what happened that day from the beginning.

That morning, there was very heavy shelling on Nir Oz. We could hear gunfire. And we looked outside, and Oded told me, there are a lot of terrorists outside. We didn’t even have time to get dressed. I was still wearing my nightgown. He was wearing very few clothes. I remember him trying to close the door to the safe room, but it didn’t work. He wasn’t successful in closing it.

And then five terrorists walked in. They shot him through the safe room door. He was bleeding from his arm. He said to me, Yoche, I’m injured. And then he fainted. He was dragged out on the floor. And I didn’t know if he was alive. I thought he was dead. After that, I was taken in my nightgown. I was led outside. I was placed on a small moped, and I was taken to Gaza.

And we were driving over a bumpy terrain that had been plowed. And it didn’t break my ribs, but it was very painful.

And I could see that the gate that surrounds the Gaza Strip was broken, and we were driving right through it.

And as we were heading in, I could see so many people they were yelling, “Yitbach al Yahud,” kill the Jews, slaughter the Jews. And people were hitting me with sticks. And though the drivers on the moped tried to protect me, it didn’t help.

What were you thinking at the time? What was in your mind?

I was thinking, I’m being taken; I’m being kidnapped. I didn’t know where to, but this decision I had in my head was that I’m going to take photographs in my mind and capture everything I’m seeing so that when I — or if and when I am released, I’ll have what to tell.

And when I came to a stop, we were in a village that’s near Nir Oz. It’s called Khirbet Khuza. We came in on the moped, but I was transferred into a private car from there. And I was threatened that my hand would be cut off unless I hand over my watch and my ring. And I didn’t have a choice, so I took my watch off, and I took my ring off, and I handed it to them.

Was it your wedding ring?

Yes, it was my wedding ring.

After that, they led me to a big hangar where the entrance to the tunnel was, and I started walking. And the entrance was at ground level, but as you walk, you’re walking down a slope. And you’re walking and walking about 40 meters deep underground, and the walls are damp, and the soil is damp. And at first, I was alone. I didn’t know that other people had been taken too. But then more hostages came, and we were walking together through the tunnels.

Many of whom were from kibbutz Nir Oz. These were our people. They were abducted but still alive. And we spoke quietly, and we spoke very little. But as we were walking, everybody started telling a story of what had happened to him. And that created a very painful picture.

There were appalling stories about murder. People had left behind a partner.

A friend arrived, who, about an hour or two hours before, had her husband murdered and he died in her hands.

It was a collection of broken up people brought together.

So you were piecing together the story of your community and what had happened from these snapshots of tragedies that you were looking at all around you as you were walking. What’s the photograph you’ll remember most from that day?

It would be a girl, a four-year-old girl. People kept telling her — walk, walk, walk. And we tried to calm her down. And her mom tried to carry her on her arms. It was the most difficult sight to see a child inside those tunnels.

What were you feeling at that moment, Yocheved?

Very difficult.

Where did they lead you — you and your community — from Nir Oz.

They led us to this chamber, a room, that they had prepared in advance. There were mattresses there. And that’s where we were told to sit.

I saw people sitting on the mattresses, bent down, their heads down between their hands. They were broken. But we hardly spoke. Everybody was inside their own world with themselves, closed inside his own personal shock.

Yocheved was without her glasses, her hearing aids, or even her shoes. She said she spent most days lying down on one of the mattresses that had been put out for the hostages. Sometimes her captors would let her and others walk up and down the tunnels to stretch their legs.

She said she was given a cucumber, spreading cheese, and a piece of pita bread every day to eat. They had a little bit of coffee in the morning and water all day long.

One day, a Hamas leader came to the room where she and others were being held. She said she believes it was Yahya Sinwar, the leader of Hamas, who is believed to be the architect of the October 7 attack. Two other hostages who were held with Yocheved also identified the man as Sinwar, and an Israeli military spokesman said he found the accounts reliable.

He came accompanied with a group of other men. He just made rounds between the hostages, I suppose. And he spoke in Hebrew, and he told us not to worry, and soon there’s going to be a deal and we’ll be out. And others told me, don’t speak. And I said, what is there for me to be afraid of? The worst already happened. Worst thing, I’ll be killed.

I want to say something, and I spoke my mind. I told Sinwar, why have you done what you just did to all of the same people who have always helped you? He didn’t answer me. He just turned around and they walked off.

Were you afraid to ask him why Hamas did what it did, to challenge him?

I wasn’t afraid.

I was angry about the whole situation. It was against every thought and thinking we ever had. It was against our desire to reach peace, to be attentive and help our neighbors the way we always wanted to help our neighbors. I was very angry. But he ignored what I said, and he just turned his back and walked away.

In this entire time, you had no answers about Oded?

What was the hardest day for you, the hardest moment in captivity?

It’s when I got sick. I got sick with diarrhea and vomiting for about four days. And I had no idea how this will end. It was a few very rough days. And probably because of that, they decided to free me.

They didn’t tell me they were going to release me. They just told me and another girl, come follow us. They gave us galabiya gowns to wear and scarves to wear over our heads, so maybe they’ll think that we are Arab women. And only as we were walking, and we started going through corridors and ladders and climbing up we were told that we’re going home.

I was very happy to be going out. But my heart ached so hard for those who were staying behind. I was hoping that many others would follow me.

It’s OK. Let’s go. It’s OK. Let’s go.

You go with this one.

Shalom. Shalom.

There was a video that was made of the moment you left your captors. And it seemed to show that you were shaking a hand, saying shalom to them. Do you remember doing that?

I said goodbye to him. It was a friendly man. He was a medic. So when we said goodbye, I shook his hand for peace, shalom, to goodbye.

What did you mean when you said that?

I meant for peace.

Shalom in the sense of peace.

An extraordinary moment as a freed Israeli hostage shakes hands with a Hamas terrorist who held her captive.

I literally saw my mom on CNN on my phone on the way to the airport. And it was the day before I was talking to my aunt, and she said, I just want to go to Gaza and pull them out of the earth. I just want to pull them out of the earth and take them. And it really felt like that, that she came out of the earth. And when she shook the hand of the Hamas person, it just made me smile because it was so her to see the human in that person and to acknowledge him as a human being.

I arrived in the hospital at about 5:30 AM. My mom was asleep in the bed. And she was just — my mom sleeps really peacefully. She has a really quiet way of sleeping. And I just sat there, and it was just like a miracle to have her back with us. It was just incredible because not only was she back, but it was her.

I don’t know how to explain it. But while they were away, we knew so little. We were pretty sure she didn’t survive it. The whole house burned down totally. So other homes we could see if there was blood on the walls or blood on the floor. But in my parents’ home, everything was gone — everything. And we just didn’t know anything. And out of that nothingness, came my mom back.

It was only when she got to the hospital that Yocheved learned the full story of what happened on October 7. Nir Oz had been mostly destroyed. Many of her friends had been murdered. No one knew what had happened to Oded. Yocheved believed he was dead. But there wasn’t time to grieve.

The photograph she had taken in her mind needed to be shared. Yocheved knew who was still alive in the tunnels. So she and her son called as many families as they could — the family of the kibbutz’s history teacher, of one of its nurses, of the person who ran its art gallery — to tell them that they were still alive, captive in Gaza.

And then in November came a hostage release. More than 100 people came out. The family was certain that Oded was gone. But Sharone decided to make some calls anyway. She spoke to one former neighbor then another. And finally, almost by chance, she found someone who’d seen her father. They shared a room together in Gaza before he’d gotten ill and was taken away. Sharone and her brothers went to where Yocheved was staying to tell her the news.

She just couldn’t believe it, actually. It was as if, in this great telenovela of our life, at one season, he was left unconscious on the floor. And the second season open, and he is in a little room in Gaza with another woman that we know. She couldn’t believe it.

She was very, very, very excited, also really worried. My father was a very active and strong man. And if it happened 10 years ago, I would say of course he would survive it. He would talk to them in Arabic. He will manage the situation. He would have agency. But we know he was injured. And it makes us very, very worried about the condition in which he was — he’s surviving there. And I think that the fear of how much suffering the hostages are going through really makes you unable to function at moment.

Yocheved, the government has been doing a military operation since October in Gaza. You have been fighting very hard since October to free the hostages, including Oded. I wonder how you see the government’s military operation. Is it something that harms your cause or potentially helps it?

The only thing that will bring them back are agreements. And what is happening is that there are many soldiers who have been killed, and there is an ongoing war, and the hostages are still in captivity. So it’s only by reaching an agreement that all of the hostages will be released.

Do you believe that Israel is close to reaching an agreement?

I don’t know.

You told us that after the Holocaust, your father gathered your family together to tell you that God did not save you. It was a crisis for him. I’m wondering if this experience, October 7, your captivity, challenged your faith in a similar way.

No, I don’t think it changed me. I’m still the same person with the same beliefs and opinions. But how should I say it? What the Hamas did was to ruin a certain belief in human beings. I didn’t think that one could reach that level that isn’t that much higher than a beast. But my opinion and my view of there still being peace and reaching an arrangement stayed the same.

You still believe in peace?

Why do you believe that?

Because I’m hoping that a new generation of leaders will rise, people who act in transparency, who speak the truth, people who are honest, the way Israel used to be and that we’ll return to be like we once were.

I go to many rallies and demonstrations, and I meet many people in many places. And a large part of those people still believe in reaching an arrangement in peace and for there to be no war. And I still hope that this is what we’re going to be able to have here.

Bring them home now! Bring them home now! Bring them home now! Bring them home now! Bring them home! Now! Bring them home! Now! Bring them home! Now! Bring them home!

Yocheved is now living in a retirement home in the suburbs of Tel Aviv. Five other people around her age from Nir Oz live there too. One is also a released hostage. She hasn’t been able to bring herself to go back to the kibbutz. The life she built there with Oded is gone — her photographs, his records, the piano. And the kibbutz has become something else now, a symbol instead of a home. It is now buzzing with journalists and politicians. For now, Yocheved doesn’t know if she’ll ever go back. And when Sharone asked her, she said, let’s wait for Dad.

So I’m today sitting in this assisted living, surrounded by the same company, just expecting Oded, waiting for Oded to come back. And then each and every one of us will be rebuilding his own life together and renewing it.

What are you doing to make it a home for Oded?

We have a piano. We were given a piano, a very old one with a beautiful sound. And it’s good. Oded is very sensitive to the sound. He has absolute hearing. And I’m just hoping for him to come home and start playing the piano.

Do you believe that Oded will come home?

I’d like to believe. But there’s a difference between believing and wanting. I want to believe that he’ll be back and playing music. I don’t think his opinions are going to change. He’s going to be disappointed by what happened. But I hope he’s going to hold on to the same beliefs. His music is missing from our home.

[SPEAKING HEBEW]:

[SPEAKING HEBREW] [PLAYING PIANO]

I know that my father always felt that we haven’t given peace a chance. That was his opinion. And I think it’s very hard to speak for my father because maybe he has changed. Like my mom said, she said, I hope he hasn’t changed. I haven’t changed. But the truth is we don’t know. And we don’t the story. We don’t know how the story — my father is ending or just beginning.

But I think you have to hold on to humanistic values at this point. You have to know what you don’t want. I don’t want more of this. This is hell. This is hell for everybody. So this is no, you know? And then I believe that peace is also gray, and it’s not glorious, and it’s not simple. It’s kind of a lot of hard work. You have to reconcile and give up a lot. And it’s only worth doing that for peace.

[PIANO PLAYING CONTINUES]

After weeks of negotiations, talks over another hostage release and ceasefire have reached an impasse. The sticking points include the length of the ceasefire and the identity and number of Palestinian prisoners to be exchanged for the hostages.

[BACKGROUND CONVERSATION IN HEBREW]:

Here’s what else you should know today. Sam Bankman-Fried was sentenced to 25 years in prison on Thursday, capping an extraordinary saga that upended the multi-trillion-dollar crypto industry. Bankman-Fried, the founder of the cryptocurrency exchange, FTX, was convicted of wire fraud, conspiracy, and money laundering last November.

Prosecutors accused him of stealing more than $10 billion from customers to finance political contributions, venture capital investments, and other extravagant purchases. At the sentencing, the judge pointed to testimony from Bankman-Fried’s trial, saying that his appetite for extreme risk and failure to take responsibility for his crimes amount to a quote, “risk that this man will be in a position to do something very bad in the future.”

Today’s episode was produced by Lynsea Garrison and Mooj Zaidie with help from Rikki Novetsky and Shannon Lin. It was edited by Michael Benoist, fact checked by Susan Lee, contains original music by Marion Lozano, Dan Powell, Diane Wong, Elisheba Ittoop, and Oded Lifshitz. It was engineered by Alyssa Moxley. The translation was by Gabby Sobelman. Special thanks to Menachem Rosenberg, Gershom Gorenberg, Gabby Sobelman, Yotam Shabtie, and Patrick Kingsley. Our theme music is by Jim Brunberg and Ben Landsverk of Wonderly.

That’s it for “The Daily.” I’m Sabrina Tavernise. See you on Monday.

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Hosted by Sabrina Tavernise

Produced by Lynsea Garrison and Mooj Zadie

With Rikki Novetsky and Shannon Lin

Edited by Michael Benoist

Original music by Marion Lozano ,  Dan Powell ,  Diane Wong and Elisheba Ittoop

Engineered by Alyssa Moxley

Listen and follow The Daily Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

Warning: this episode contains descriptions of violence.

It’s been nearly six months since the Hamas-led attacks on Israel, when militants took more than 200 hostages into Gaza.

In a village called Nir Oz, near the border, one quarter of residents were either killed or taken hostage. Yocheved Lifshitz and her husband, Oded Lifshitz, were among those taken.

Today, Yocheved and her daughter Sharone tell their story.

On today’s episode

Yocheved Lifshitz, a former hostage.

Sharone Lifschitz, daughter of Yocheved and Oded Lifshitz.

A group of people are holding up signs in Hebrew with photos of a man. In the front is a woman with short hair and glasses.

Background reading

Yocheved Lifshitz was beaten and held in tunnels built by Hamas for 17 days.

There are a lot of ways to listen to The Daily. Here’s how.

We aim to make transcripts available the next workday after an episode’s publication. You can find them at the top of the page.

Fact-checking by Susan Lee .

Additional music by Oded Lifshitz.

Translations by Gabby Sobelman .

Special thanks to Menachem Rosenberg, Gershom Gorenberg , Gabby Sobelman , Yotam Shabtie, and Patrick Kingsley .

The Daily is made by Rachel Quester, Lynsea Garrison, Clare Toeniskoetter, Paige Cowett, Michael Simon Johnson, Brad Fisher, Chris Wood, Jessica Cheung, Stella Tan, Alexandra Leigh Young, Lisa Chow, Eric Krupke, Marc Georges, Luke Vander Ploeg, M.J. Davis Lin, Dan Powell, Sydney Harper, Mike Benoist, Liz O. Baylen, Asthaa Chaturvedi, Rachelle Bonja, Diana Nguyen, Marion Lozano, Corey Schreppel, Rob Szypko, Elisheba Ittoop, Mooj Zadie, Patricia Willens, Rowan Niemisto, Jody Becker, Rikki Novetsky, John Ketchum, Nina Feldman, Will Reid, Carlos Prieto, Ben Calhoun, Susan Lee, Lexie Diao, Mary Wilson, Alex Stern, Dan Farrell, Sophia Lanman, Shannon Lin, Diane Wong, Devon Taylor, Alyssa Moxley, Summer Thomad, Olivia Natt, Daniel Ramirez and Brendan Klinkenberg.

Our theme music is by Jim Brunberg and Ben Landsverk of Wonderly. Special thanks to Sam Dolnick, Paula Szuchman, Lisa Tobin, Larissa Anderson, Julia Simon, Sofia Milan, Mahima Chablani, Elizabeth Davis-Moorer, Jeffrey Miranda, Renan Borelli, Maddy Masiello, Isabella Anderson and Nina Lassam.

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Disgust in our political elites is turning us against democracy itself

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There can be no doubt now that the country has lost confidence in the Conservatives and that there is almost nothing that can change that before the general election, whenever it happens. But it is also clear that the electorate has little faith in the main opposition party to solve the problems that are pushing the population to despair.

The Labour lead in opinion polls does not appear to be generated by a realistic hope for new measures which will transform the nation’s prospects. In fact, Sir Keir Starmer and his team are deliberately playing down the prospect of any such miraculous remedies.

What appears to be driving much of the Labour support – at least, the element of it which is not simply public sector or trade union self-interest – is a form of desperation. The shambolic, aimless performance of the party in power and the decline of institutions which are the government’s responsibility ( like the NHS ) have produced utter exasperation. Voting the Tories out will be a form of revenge, not a statement of faith in the Labour alternative. (How could it be, since Labour has not given any credible indication of what its alternative would consist of?)

So this is a much more serious crisis than the familiar one that arises when one party has been in power for too long. The general disillusionment and futility now encompasses all the major political parties. It is significant that only a minor one, Reform, is generating any enthusiasm but that is mainly because it is the embodiment of disgust with the existing establishment. It is not so much a prospective governing party as an anti-political party: one that gives voice to precisely that angry rejection of the formulae within which the historic parties operate. In effect, it is saying that politics as we know it no longer works. Of course, expressing inchoate rage can get you quite a long way in electoral contests. It has worked for Donald Trump and for many populist leaders in Europe.

But what should concern us right now is this catastrophic loss of faith in government itself. That is to say, in the possibility of democratic government providing the path to fulfilment and prosperity which has been its trusted promise. There is a good reason why the traditional parties can give no guarantees of immediate improvements to anything – not even the public services that they administer. Because they have driven their economies into a blind alley from which there is no escape that is not painful.

No responsible political leader with a realistic hope of being in power can hide the reality and extent of that necessary pain. This goes against the expectation that has always prevailed in free societies: that governments which are accountable to their populations will always strive to make their conditions of life better. People do not expect their elected governments to make deliberate decisions which make them poorer, or cause their children to have fewer life chances than they did. That is not how it is supposed to work. So when no legitimate party can promise anything other than this, belief in the system itself can collapse.

But there is something rather odd here, isn’t there? Certainly the struggle over household finances and the prospects for the immediate future – especially of the young – seem pretty bleak. The immediate pressures of the cost of living, shortage of housing, and levels of taxation are all legitimate causes of discontent and disillusion, but for anyone who lived through what looked like the incurable paralysis of the 1970s, let alone the post-war period of rationing and hardship, daily life cannot actually appear so calamitously terrible that the whole edifice of party politics needs to be dismantled.

Most ordinary people now live with domestic comforts and miraculous electronic devices that were undreamt of only a few decades ago. In the strike-bound Britain of the 1970s , we worried about staggering increases in inflation and interest rates but there were immediate practical concerns which are almost unknown now. Today’s sophisticated consumers rage when their broadband goes down. Back then, we struggled through the total blackout of regular power cuts.

Something has changed in the public consciousness. The quality of politics itself and its practitioners can vary hugely over the generations but today’s crop are probably no more or less mistaken or inadequate than in most other eras. Yet they are presiding over a degree of resentment that is unlike anything most of us can recall. It cannot be a coincidence that this great alienation comes after the most bizarre, unprecedented social experiment in modern history. Not only was the economy put into an induced coma for the best part of two years – which is the chief cause of the disastrous debt which now makes the proper financing of any government service impossible – but the most fundamental expectations of communal life were undermined. Normal social bonds and interactions were not only outlawed for the duration of the emergency. More sinister was a systematic official programme which inculcated fear and chronic anxiety in the public space.

For most (but not all) fully grown adults, this enforced neuroticism could be overcome when the rules of normal life were restored. But for many children and adolescents who missed two critical years of social initiation and adjustment, the damage may be irreparable. Teachers are reporting a startling rise in physical aggression and behavioural problems among young children in the post-pandemic era. An alarming number of pupils just disappeared from the education system, having become permanently detached from formal schooling.

There is a key here to the wider theme of detachment from participation in national institutions and cynicism about politics. The idea of organised political life is part of a larger concept: the very possibility of social solutions, of a population working, through reasoned argument and experiment, to solve its problems. This is how we got through seemingly intractable difficulties in the past. Good politics has to be part of natural human experience. Somehow, through that very unnatural time, we lost the connection.

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IMAGES

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  2. 4 Tips on How to Solve Life Problems

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  1. Dealing With Your Problems: Tips and Tricks

    Good problem-solving skills are a necessary and important part of daily life. In fact, we solve problems every day without thinking much about it. For instance, maybe you're at work and you ...

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    Aiming for balance in your life can help you more effectively deal with your problems. [20] Take short breaks during the day to take a walk or a run. This can distract your mind from your problems and may make you more able to deal with them. [21] Give yourself time alone or with the people you love.

  3. The Problem-Solving Process

    Problem-solving is a mental process that involves discovering, analyzing, and solving problems. The ultimate goal of problem-solving is to overcome obstacles and find a solution that best resolves the issue. The best strategy for solving a problem depends largely on the unique situation. In some cases, people are better off learning everything ...

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    Problem-solving is a vital skill for coping with various challenges in life. This webpage explains the different strategies and obstacles that can affect how you solve problems, and offers tips on how to improve your problem-solving skills. Learn how to identify, analyze, and overcome problems with Verywell Mind.

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    1. Calm your emotions. Making a decision or solving a problem can be difficult if you feel anxious or nervous about how it will go. If your fear is clouding your ability to solve a problem, take a moment to feel calm. Take a few slow, deep breaths to help calm your nervous system and com back into the present moment.

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    Be kind and show understanding, and try to avoid personal confrontation. You can even try to reach out to the persons and invite them over for a coffee and get to understand their worldview. This can help you to connect with them at their level so that you can avoid unnecessary stress for yourself. 5. Career Pressure.

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    1. Write your problem down. Put your problem on paper with pen. This will help the problem seem more tangible and will make you more likely to try to solve it when it is written down and staring you in the face. [7] For example, if your problem is that you don't have enough money, you could write that down.

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    Leaders solve problems - followers go to leaders to get their problems solved. The first thing to do when faced with a problem is to know there is an answer to the problem. Do not worry about the problem and work towards the answer will keep you in control of the situation by keeping attitudes and thoughts under control.

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    1. First, make sure you understand the problem. You do this by developing a representation of the essential aspects of the problem. You do that by searching your knowledge base for information ...

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    Building solid problem-solving strategies and coping skills can help you manage when life throws its punches. Steps. Method 1. Method 1 of 4: ... Sometimes, when we are facing problems in life, it becomes difficult to separate the problem from the symptoms it causes. You must clearly identify and define the problem to come up with a workable ...

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    Step 1: Ask Questions. Einstein is quoted as saying, "If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask… for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.".

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    Step 4: Thinking up solutions. The biggest mistake that we tend to make when finding solutions for our problems is to think about the same old solutions. However, if those old solutions worked, the problem would not still be around. In order to come up with new solutions, you can follow the rules of brainstorming:

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    Step 4: Thinking up Solutions. The biggest mistake that we tend to make when thinking up solutions for our problems is to think about the same old solutions. But if those old solutions worked, the problem would not still be around. In order to come up with new solutions, you can follow the rules of brainstorming: 1.

  14. The 10 Most Common Life Problems and How to Deal with Them

    To deal with these issues, identify the issues that might be within you such as personal issues or attitudinal problems. Work on yourself and get back on your feet and try again. 8. Unfair Treatment. This world is full of people who are unjust and unfair when they get in power.

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    Tips: - Write down the problem and your goals. - Create a list of possible solutions. - Prioritize the solutions that you want to try. - Start with the easiest solution and work your way up. "Most people don't set goals. Most people do the same thing, day in, day out. Most people don't live the life they want.

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    From burnout to sadness — here are 3 key solutions that can help to solve some of life's common problems almost immediately: 1. Introduce healthy people and activities into your routine to ...

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    14. A fear is standing in your way. There are so many common fears — fear of spiders, flying, public speaking, dying, career change, heights, and maybe even a fear of expressing yourself. Fear ...

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    1. The simple problem. The first type of problem in Snowden's framework is simple and obvious. It has already been solved, and there actually is a best practice that works all the time. Once you ...

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    1. Take your troubles to God and put them in His hands. Hannah, in her grief, took her problems to God. She knew that only He could help her. We read that she "prayed to the LORD and wept in anguish" ( verse 10) and that she "continued praying before the LORD" ( verse 12 ).

  20. 15 Typical Life Problems And How To Solve Them.

    Image Credit: Idelle Weber. Drink more water. Get your lazy ass to the gym 3 times a week for 30 minutes. Stand up from your desk every now and then so you're not sitting for the whole day and ...

  21. How to solve life problems: 10 real-life examples

    Here are links to each of the 10 scenarios so you can jump to and begin with the one that may be most applicable to you and begin to solve life problems. Life Problem 1: Feeling Stuck. Life Problem 2: Relationship Challenges. Life Problem 3: Chronic Illness. Life Problem 4: Loss and Grief. Life Problem 5: Negativity.

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    5) THINK IN PICTURES. If ever you're struggling to solve your life problems, it can be helpful to start thinking in pictures. Pictures will help you to bring your thoughts to life on paper in front of your eyes. Once there, you can begin playing with your thoughts, exploring your thoughts, and even re-imagining them on paper in a variety of ways.

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    Know the problem. Basically, the initial step will be to know what the problem is and then get to the root of it. After understanding the problem, you will know its intensity and size. Whatever the size, you have to go about gathering the facts and work it out to solve it. Success lies in your approach to handling and solving the problem.

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    There is a key here to the wider theme of detachment from participation in national institutions and cynicism about politics. The idea of organised political life is part of a larger concept: the very possibility of social solutions, of a population working, through reasoned argument and experiment, to solve its problems.